#but I feel ignorant for shoving the criticisms aside

[years-n-feather]

My weird relationship with the She-Ra franchise

[8mitsurikanroji8]

𝒦𝓃𝓎 𝒞𝓇𝓊𝓈𝒽 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

ɪɴꜰᴏ : ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɴʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼

𝘛𝘢𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘳𝘰. 𝘡𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘶. 𝘐𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘶𝘬𝘦. 𝘔𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘰 . 𝘚𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘪 . 𝘖𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘪 . 𝘎𝘪𝘺𝘶 . 𝘒𝘺𝘰𝘫𝘶𝘳𝘰 . 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘪. 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘣𝘶.

────────────────────────

𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 ⋆˙⟡♡

. Not obvious at all ?

. He’s a sweatheart to everyone he meets ahem Tanjiro effect?

. Blushes whenever you get close ><

. Would offer moments with you

. “Y/n want to eat together ?” “Y/n want to train together?” “Y/n want to take a stroll” etc

. You think nothing of it but for him his heart beats fast and is comforted by these actions

. Doesn’t realize he has a crush on you

. Just thinks you have an amazing personality that draws him in

. It’s just that, right ?

. He finally gets the hint when you guys were alone on a stroll catching the sunset. He caught himself staring at you while smiling as you stood and watched the sun fall, painting the sky orange

. His face goes RED when he realizes ><

. He turns away trying to calm himself down

. You notice, concerned, you take your hand and put it on his face thinking he has a fever

. Faces is literally fire

. Other than that you don’t really realize his feelings for you as he seems to be the same. Only asking for more time with you and more blushing but your mind waves it off

. Little do you know he stares at you while your mind is adrift thinking

. His heart beats fast and his eyes soften

. Yep. He likes you.

𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮 ⋆˙⟡♡

. Now this one you KNOW [ Sorta ]

. I mean he ask you to marry him only 2 minutes in meeting for the first time

. “YOURE THE PRETTIEST GIRL I HAVE EVER MET. PLEASE MARRY ME!”

. You are dumbfounded with his open admiration

. A little flatter? Yes. Caught off guard ? 100%

. Soon within getting to know him you learn of his lovely dovey personality

. Realizing he is like this with every girl you push aside his comments of marriage and admiration

. I mean he would say that to any one, right ?

. Wrong [ also right tho >< ]

. He would say this to almost every girl he’s met

. But after you ? Oh honey

. You don’t realize how he’s actually fallen for you. Deeply

. Follows you around like a duck

. Someone criticize you [ Even if it’s just critiquing so you know what to work on ]

. That person will not hear the end of it

. “Y/N IS THE BEST PERSON EVER AND IS THE GREATEST DEMON SLAYER SO YOU SHUT UP!”

. Cringey ? Mhm. Cute ? A little.

. If you use sweet words to him [ You mostly say them to everyone tho ] like “honey” “sweetie” “cutie” “sweetheart”

. What color do you want your wedding bouquet?

. He’s planning it all

𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 ⋆˙⟡♡

. You don’t know and neither does he ._.

.”FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW. LETS SEE WHO WINS!”

. That’s something you will never hear the end of

. He has no idea about what a crush is nor love

. He just thinks you’re a good fighter and wants to fight you whenever he can

. And you just think he’s being his normal weird self :)

. You don’t mind it [ usually ]

. He likes to eat with you

. If you both are heading to a mission and forget to pack yourself food

. He will eat his infront of you and say

. “HAHA IDIOT”

. You roll your eyes ignoring him

. Suddenly his food is being shoved down your throat no comment added

. You better not ask about it

. Your ears won’t be able to handle anymore of his yelling blabber

. But you take his action to heart and enjoy it

. His face is a bit pink

. BUT only because his boar head is warm, right ?

. Sureeee ._.

𝐌𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 ⋆˙⟡♡

. Who are you again ?

. Oh right. The one who gives him the hebegebees

. Jkjkjk

. well

. He’s too lost in the clouds to realize his feelings for you or even realize you’re the only one who’s company doesn’t annoy him or pushes away

. And you don’t realize because his vocabulary is just so grand

. “Mhm” “No” “Yes “I believe so” “What did you say?” “I assume” “Could be” “I have no opinion”

. You tag along him to the point where others know

. “Oh there’s Muichiro. Y/n must be near”

. And vice versa

. He doesn’t realize how close together you guys alway are

. When you’re away on a mission he finds himself with a unfamiliar feelings

. Oh you’re back! Never mind the feeling is gone nothing to worry about !

. You just like his character and enjoy spending time with him

. He won’t realize but he thinks the same

. And more ><

. Both of these are unaware to you and him

𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 ⋆˙⟡♡

. Oh boy

. You may be strong both physically and mentally

. You’re enduring both his need to constantly train and his vicious tongue

. You most likely match his adittuide

. Oh he’s got something to say? So do you

. Everyone believes he HATES you

. I mean he does insult you and always wants to fight

. Poor guy doesn’t know what it is he’s feeling

. He didn’t really see romantic love in his childhood

. So he just stuffs those fast heart beat, pink cheeks and fuzzy feeling deep down and try’s to ignore it

. He doesn’t realize but one of the reason he always want to spear with you is because you guys spend close time together

. Also because he’s Sanemi

. And you being you, you don’t mind and take it as another challenge to conquer

𝐎𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐢 ⋆˙⟡♡

. You talk and he doesn’t

. Perfect match <3

. Here goes another damage one !

. His love language is definitely quality time

. You’re eating ? Under [ or up ] a tree? Simply walking around the garden ?

. Oh look there he is too!

. He definitely catches on to his physical and emotional reactions to you

. And you just thinks you guys are the closets of friends !

. You guys always seem to travel together

. Even in your free time you are found with him strolling around a village together

. Some one insults you?

. You’ll just ignore it and move on

. He doesn’t. Pray for that person.

. Kaburamaru seems to have also found a fondness for you

. He may be jealous of that fact

𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮 ⋆˙⟡♡

. You don’t know what the others are talking about

. Giyu is lovely to talk to !

. He may be one of your favorite hasira to spend time with ♡

. He’s gentle and kind spoken [ with his little use of words ]

. He pays for your meals no matter how hard you insist and listen to you ramble for hours on end with no sign of annoyence

. Why would the others hate him?

. He’s like this with everyone, right ?

. Oh honey.

. You take these actions as part of his character, while he assume he act this way because of his admiration for you being so nice to him !

. I mean you are one of the few who do talk to him without insult

. It never clicks for him what the feeling really is

. That’s until one day

. [ Shinobu ] “Good evening Tomioka”

. [ Giyu ] “Evening Shinobu”

. [ Shinobu ] “You look as bland and boring as ever. How are you”

. [ Giyu ] *no answer*

. [ Shinobu ] “I must say without your little friend you somehow appear more dull. It is odd to catch a moment with you two apart”

. [ Giyu ] *nothing*

. [ Shinobu ] *Giggles* “It’s almost like you two are in a romantic relationship with how close you are.”

. His heart stops with that comment

. And his brain finally realize the feeling

. I mean he’s never felt this way before ♡

. His eyes trail off and soften, catching Shinobu attention

. [ Shinobu ] *Giggles* “ I was only just kidding. It’s not like someone like Y/n could admire your dull personality”

. Oh. Right.

𝐊𝐲𝐨𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐨 ⋆˙⟡♡

. “YOU ARE ONE SKILLED SLAYER” “I ADMIRE YOUR TECHNIQUES” “GREAT JOB” “YOU HAVE INCREDIBLE SKILLS” “WONDERFUL WORK”

. He praises you non stop

. I mean who wouldn’t with your talent !

. You take his compliments as a part of his cheerful personality and respect it

. And maybe take a bit of flattery with it ><

. He does too

. He just admires you skill is all

…….

. He offers to dine with you or take you out to eat

. “Y/N WOULD YOU LIKE TO SPEND TIME AND DINE WITH ME!?”

. [ You ] “Oh um, sure okay!”

. “SPLENDID, LETS GET ON OUR WAY!”

. He always ask where you are

. Remembers the small things

. You like that color ? Oh look he just bought you a keychain with it. That’s your favorite food? Guess that’s where you guys are eating tonight

. His acts of romantic feelings fly over both of your guys head

. But not to anybody else

. *Kyojuro and you side by side laughing together*

. [ Slayer 1 ] “Are they together?”

. [ Slayer 2 ] “isn’t it obvious ?”

𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐢 ⋆˙⟡♡

. You guys are actually inspectable

. Always together <3

. She loves your company !

. Mitsuri finds everything about you adorable

. From they way you eat to your fighting techniques

. You make her feel safe ♡

. More touchy with you than others [ expect hugs, face pokes and hand holding when she’s around ]

. She definitely realizes her feelings for you

. She is the love hashira after all

. But she doesn’t act on it afraid you won’t feel the same and forever ruin the relationship you guys already have

. She’s oblivious to the shared love you have for one another

. *Mitsuri thoughts* Oh they just see me as a friend

. Mhm okay ._.

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐮 ⋆˙⟡♡

. This one is a slow burn

. Every mission with you she seems to oddly enjoy

. Whenever you walk into her estate she feels a warmth

. Her heart flutters whenever you hug her or compliment her

. Your smile makes her smile

. She always watches you [ not in a creepy way >< ]

. She just finds herself drunk on the way your eyes light up

. Once it hits her why she feel this way poor girl try’s to ignore it

. Afraid to allow herself to get too close in this field of work

. But the heart wants what is wants ♡

. You begin to dine after missions together

. Have light conversation when running into each other

. And occasionally meet ups outside of work

. She compliments you often

. Once you start to spend more time together she will accidentally graze her hand over you thigh or your fingers just to see you reaction

. This girl knows what she’s doing

────────────────────────

A/n

ᴀʜʜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰɪɴɪꜱʜᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ ! ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ !! ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱʜᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇꜱꜱᴀɢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛ <3 ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

────────────────────────────────────────

[chaifootsteps]

Hi chai, I saw your Twitter yesterday. Fans getting weird about your opinion on stoliz and claiming that’s the ‘true conspiracy’ behind why you critique SH and Viv. But that holds no weight at all, is very silly, and is absolutely as stupid as the dragon discourse. I hope you know there’s only maybe 5 people who think that.

I definitely get how hard it is being critical of something that is genuinely harmful, but feeling guilty in a way, that you’re in the minority while saying it. Everyone ignoring things and sweeping them aside makes you feel “am I the crazy one am I just overreacting?” But I promise you that you aren’t. Maybe talking about it negatively is taking up a bit too much of your thought space, but it’s not as if you’re alone in that. Maybe making a side blog for writing critique, headcanons, especially all the stolas critical stuff, separate to legitimate allegations and important receipts, community discourse etc, could be a good idea?

And I can understand feeling bad when you are seen as negative while everyone else can just quote on quote ‘turn their brain off and enjoy’ so you try do the same. Maybe I’m wrong but I can kinda see you trying to make yourself do that. But if something makes you uncomfortable you don’t need to hide or minimise it. This writing and rhetoric it creates is legitimately damaging on many levels. And all of your arguments are very clearly substantiated. They brought me a lot of comfort to know I’m not alone.

I was bullied out of a lot of HB social media platforms Reddit, discord servers, Pinterest, even my YouTube just for existing in the fandom and not shipping it, when push came to shove I barely even had to say this ship makes me uncomfortable. In the most mild way possible. I was just suspected of it then made fun of for being “too sjw” A lot of people are chronically online and extremely defensive because they’re deeply obsessed with the ship. With some saying they’ll hunt Medrano down and hurt her if she doesn’t make it canon immediately and give the best owl boy a happy ending. Now, those people are the dangerous weirdos.

It's silly and stupid, but the people parroting "It's all because of Stolitz!" like it's the end of the world are profoundly stupid people. They've got nothing on me of substance, so they have to make up stuff in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously.

(As for my thought space, I've got plenty of it and only devote as much of it to Viv stuff as I want to. When I'm tired of it, I step away or close the inbox. No problem.)

Sorry to hear you were bullied out of HB platforms. The people behaving this way are ghouls and they'll eat each other alive sooner or later, probably sooner.

[ca-suffit]

somehow I missed this post but let's get into it now. this is only a small part of a larger post made by all the white fandom ppl.

this theory they all have and keep repeating is racist af. it's even worse because these aren't white ppl saying this.

these ppl need to protect the white character so much that they're weaponizing their races (even the black ppl) to be antiblack af. they're taking gigantic steps over acknowledging the v simple fact that everything lestat does makes sense when ur able to recognize racial differences *as the show wants u to do.* it's not bad writing, it's not "gringo writers." it's moving the characters through a world without being anne rice stupid about it. also louis was *not* the aggressor in the book and the story is *always* about *both* of them escaping from lestat. it's about parenthood in the ways that frankenstein is about parenthood. it's not just about how louis fails claudia, it's how lestat failed louis, how lestat failed claudia, how they all constantly fail *each other.* and the show is giving us that too! fucking idiots! I thought u were big readers, u can't see this?! how fucking sad!!

u can tell this story of lestat being abusive as a white man to his black partner (and black child) and have it be true just fine. this happens irl all the fucking time. if it was rly that fucked up, there'd be no black ppl in the fandom. this group is so fucking antiblack, they not only shove the characters aside to center the white guy and excuse his abuse six different ways, they bully black fans and make sure nobody gets to hear any black opinions that aren't those voices who only center and protect whiteness.

anyways, lestat can do all of this and still come back around to healing with louis. it's only "bad writing" to ppl who have never emotionally matured. which would be everyone who has to go this hard defending white ppl instead of just saying this is all happening because this was racially conscious casting. this story is focused on race. these are real issues in interracial relationships, even now. it's patriarchy. it's slavery. it's blurring lines on purpose. It's not "some cheap Lifetime movie plot" u ignorant fucking bitch.

let me get to my other point tho. they want u to ignore race, they want u to think it's bad writing, they want u to think *they're* the smart, book educated ppl. they repeat their own fanon in a group to manipulate u to thinking it's "the smartest" decision by "smart" ppl. it's just a bunch of antiblack bullshit.

lestat having done this fr and louis having to come to terms with that is real. that is prbly what the show is going to hit hard on. that lestat did that and claudia got the most fucked by it because louis was still unable to leave him. and u can still create healing from that with loustat because, as this group loves to remind us, they're *vampires* and they have literally *forever* to fix their shit.

these book ppl want us to rush through twenty books just to stop criticizing white lestat and making them feel bad about liking him. there's no reason to be rushing the books in part two of fucking *IWTV.* they are so STUPID. and they want us to be too. but sorry, we're not all fucking buying it.

louis *has* to attempt suicide because he becomes aware that claudia manipulated him into killing lestat because of her own pain at being forced into vampiric existence by both of them? so all of the manipulation and violence and lying liars is only aimed at black ppl then? lestat is gonna walk away taking accountability for nothing, being the victim of a bunch of black liars, and u think that's the better version? u think that's rly gonna happen?

I need u to understand how fucking deeply racist all of this shit goes. it is evil levels of it. it is planned levels of it. this group is so fucked in the head and they need u to buy into it so badly so they can feel rly smart and get one over on black fans.

u need to know this is fucking garbage. it's not deep, it's not insightful, it's just antiblack shit from the same fucking group who is always bringing u antiblack shit dressed up in ways they think they're being slick about. I need these ppl to choke and cry and throw up when this shit does not happen in the show, because it is v much not going to.

fuck every single goddamn one of u.

[puddlejumpingwriter]

"The Nine Lives of Kylo"

~ A Reylo Holiday Textfic ~

Author's Note: I'm posting these chapters in time for Christmas in July. Chapters 1-5 are also available on AO3. New chapters will post to both Tumblr and AO3 starting this week and wrapping up before the holidays.

~~~

PART III

~~~

Ben always expects stress from his family over the holidays, but he can’t prepare for it this year. He’s too distracted by Kylo…and the woman who’s been helping him.

He shouldn’t have enjoyed kissing her so much…

But a text pulls him back to the family stress.

~~~

Ben needs help with Kylo, so he goes to the text that always seems to be near the top of his messages.

~~~

Ben’s as ready as he can be when Rey arrives at his house at 5:30.

His mother will have appetizers on the counter by 6:00, and dinner will be served exactly an hour after that. He needs to be on the road soon to avoid a lecture on tardiness.

He takes a deep breath, trying not to think of the litany of criticisms he’ll hear tonight and wondering if Lando and Chewie might be willing to sneak off for a bit and partake in some Chandrilan ale. 

That might help things.

It would also help if Kylo behaves for his sitter tonight. As Ben opens his front door, Rey gives him a bright grin that goes well with her happy holiday sweater. 

Ben knows he needs to stop thinking about this woman and her smiles.

But Ben can’t deny what he feels.

If Rey wanted the same things as him, Ben would dump Baz in a heartbeat and ask Rey to be with him.

But Rey doesn’t date now—and when she is finally willing to date, she wants love and probably marriage.

If they were together, Rey would have expectations of him. And Ben would fail miserably at them—the same way he seems to let everyone down in his life. 

It’s better to ignore the yearning he feels whenever he sees Rey. They should just be friends. 

“This is your house?” Rey asks.

“It’s more of a project I’m going to sell at some point, but yes, I live here.”

“It’s so…”

“Boring? Old-fashioned? Run-down?”

Rey’s brow furrows in shock. “I was going to say charming. Who would say such ugly things about this place?”

“No one,” Ben replies, omitting the fact he was quoting Baz verbatim.

“You’d have to be blind not to see how inviting this house is,” Rey adds, as she walks around the foyer, taking in the space. “Sure, it’s traditional, but it’s also cozy and just lovely.”

“If you say so.”

Her hand slides along the rail of the staircase. “Look at these stairs. Whoever built these cared about what they were doing.”

Ben’s no longer looking at Rey. Instead, he’s focused on his feet. He can feel heat rising in his cheeks, and he can’t keep his fingers from fiddling with his ear.

He’s never handled praise well.

“Ben?” Rey says, curiosity clear in her voice. “Did you build this?”

“Yeah,” he admits, his gaze returning to her. “The old stairs rotted out.”

“These look amazing!”

“They’re just stairs.”

“Just stairs? If I were allowed to make changes to my apartment, I’d hire you to make that place feel like a home.”

“If your landlord ever loosens up on his rules, let me know,” Ben says. “Now let me show you a few of the essential spots around here.”

A meow sounds from the top of the stairs, and they both look up to see Kylo’s descent. The cat flies down the steps, slowing only when he reaches Rey.

Kylo rubs against her legs, before looking at her expectantly. Rey picks him up and nestles Kylo against her chest.

“Lucky cat,” Ben thinks, before shoving that thought aside. He shows Rey a few rooms in the house—all the while trying not to envy Kylo.

“This is the kitchen,” he says. “It’s a bit of a mess because we’re putting new flooring down on Monday.”

“How does Kylo handle the construction?”

“He seems okay, but do you think that might be what’s bothering him?”

“He seems fine now,” Rey says, scratching between the purring cat’s ears. “But loud noises can be disturbing to cats. I remember one cat growing up who used to run whenever my brother or I had to vacuum.”

Ben chuckles. “Was it your cat or a relative’s?”

Her grin falters, and Ben can see something sad in her usually cheerful eyes.

“The cat belonged to the owner of a foster home where I lived,” she answers.

“I’m sorry,” he says, not knowing if he’s apologizing for making her reveal part of her past, or for complaining about his troublesome family to her.

“Don’t be,” she says, her smile slowly returning as Kylo licks her hand. “Besides, there were benefits to growing up in different houses. I learned about different kinds of pets—and that helped me decide to become a vet. So how about you—why did you become a fireman?”

Ben sighs. “Let me show you.”

He leads her into the living room, where he has a bookcase covered in pictures.

“Is this your family?” Rey asks, taking in the images.

“Yes,” Ben answers. “Some biological. Some not related but just as close.” His hand moves toward a more recent addition, but Rey’s already pointing at the picture.

“Are these your parents?”

“That’s them.”

“You take after your father.”

“In more ways than one,” he comments, which earns him a quirk of Rey’s eyebrow. “He’s the fire chief,” Ben adds.

“Oh, so he’s the reason you became a fireman?”

“In part—do you happen to know the name Organa?”

“I saw that name on a sign during the last election,” Rey replies. “Are you related to Organa too?”

Ben’s finger moves to the woman in the frame.

“Wait,” she says. “So your father’s the fire chief and your mother’s the mayor?”

“Yep. A whole family of public servants,” he replies.

“Well, your parents are, but surely you must have relatives in other professions.”

“Of the adopted family members,” Ben begins, “Uncle Chewie is a firefighter, and Uncle Lando’s a detective. My mom’s brother Luke is the closest to being an outsider.”

“What does he do?”

“He audits taxes—but at a federal level, not local.”

“What a scandal,” Rey says, jokingly. “I’m surprised he wasn’t disowned.”

“It was pretty touch and go there—especially when he talked about moving to some tropical island away from all of us.”

“What stopped him?”

“He met Aunt Mara,” Ben answers. “She works in the town’s tourism department.”

“Of course she does,” Rey says. “What about your grandparents? Someone in your family must’ve taken another path.”

Ben’s eyes move to two pictures on the middle shelf—one black-and-white, taken decades ago, and the other from just two years ago.

In the older picture, his grandmother Padme wears an intricate white gown and stands in front of his grandfather Anakin. The young man’s nearly a foot taller than the woman, but that doesn’t hinder them. They exchange nuptials and smiles with the lake glimmering behind them.

“My grandmother was the first female mayor of the town,” Ben says. “And my grandfather was the cop assigned to protect her when someone starting making threats against her.”

His eyes move to the newer picture, where the couple is posed for the picture. Padme’s hand is on Anakin’s chest, as they lean into each other, and her diamond and sapphire ring is prominent in the foreground.

“Beautiful,” Rey comments.

Baz said something similar when she saw this picture, admiring the ring, and Ben can only assume Rey is doing the same.

“Everyone loves that ring,” he says.

“I wasn’t talking about the ring,” Rey replies. “Sure, it’s lovely, but look at the couple. They love each other. It’s clear in both photos. They’re so happy and, well, adorable.”

“Thank you,” a female voice says from behind them.

Ben turns to see his grandmother in the doorway to the room. “Nonna,” he says. “ I swear I’m leaving now. You didn’t need to check up on me.”

“I’m not checking up on you, Benjamin,” Padme replies. “Your mother told me you had a kitten, and I just had to see for myself. Is this him?”

His grandmother gestures toward Rey’s arms, and his new friend answers, “Yes, this is Kylo.”

“What a handsome cat,” Padme says before petting Kylo.

The cat purrs at the attention. 

“Are you sure you can’t keep him?” Padme asks.

“You know me,” he answers. “I’m not looking for commitments.”

“But perhaps you can make an exception for such a charming creature.”

Rey smiles. “You wouldn’t be interested in a cat, would you?” she asks Padme.

“I used to love having a cat when I was a child, but I’m not sure how Kylo or any other cat could handle Vader.”

“Vader?” Rey asks.

“Granddad’s Rottweiler,” Ben replies. “I think Kylo could go toe-to-toe with Vader.”

“I wouldn’t be worried about that, dear,” Padme says. “I’d be more worried they’d be bad influences on each other. Who knows what sort of mischief the two of them would cause together?”

“Does Vader have a sitter for the night?” Rey asks.

“The dogs usually hang out together while we eat dinner,” Ben answers. “And they tend to get along.”

“For the most part,” Padme adds. “But I’d love to have a cat join us. Would you like to come to dinner with us?”

The question is posed to Rey—not to Kylo.

“No, I couldn’t,” Rey says. “I’m just here to watch the cat.”

Padme’s brow creases. “Benjamin, this isn’t your girlfriend?”

“No, Nonna,” he answers firmly. “This is Rey. She’s a friend of mine, and she’s good with cats.”

“I can see that,” Palme says, looking at Kylo, who’s still tucked happily against Rey’s chest. “But still, the offer stands if you’d like to come to dinner.”

“I couldn’t,” Rey insists. “I have an exam to study for while Kylo keeps me company.”

“An exam?” Padme questions.

“Rey’s studying to become a vet,” Ben answers. “Couldn’t ask for a better cat sitter.”

“I’m glad Kylo will be well taken care of,” Padme says. “But if you change your mind, Rey, and you’d like to join us, just let Benjamin know. I’ll send him to pick you up at any time tonight.”

“Thank you,” Rey replies with a smile. “That’s really too kind of you, but I couldn’t possibly intrude on your family dinner—especially not when there’s a test I have to prepare for.”

“Suit yourself,” Padme says. “But the option is there if you want it. Now come along, Benjamin, or else we’ll hear an earful from your mother.” His grandmother turns back to Rey, “It was nice meeting you, dear, and you too, Kylo.”

Padme gives the cat a few more affectionate pets before letting Ben escort her to the door.

Ben turns back to Rey. “If there’s anything you need, text me.”

Rey just smiles at him, and then lifts Kylo’s paw to wave at him. “I think we’ll have everything we need here at your house. Now Kylo, say goodbye to daddy.”

Ben’s heart starts to melt, and it has nothing to do with the small noise his cat makes. 

He likes the thought of this place as his house—rather than just some property he’s going to fix up and sell. 

And he likes thinking about his house with Rey and his cat in it.

And oddly enough, Ben likes Rey calling him daddy.

[brewingbi]

Spoilers for Episode 6, 7 and the preview of 8

I usually hate seeing too many criticisms on a piece of media I'm trying to enjoy because other people's opinions, even if they differ from my own open my eyes to plot points I was willing to let slide or ignore for the sake of enjoying what I'm watching and gradually make me lose any interest or develop an ick towards it(Cuz let's be real I think some people literally watch media just to find its faults).That being said,

1. What the fuck was the pacing in episode 7. My last post I think I expressed SOME hope of this excessive slow build paying off into something bigger but no all of a sudden in a span of 15 minutes Jang Uk realises he's in love after making her feel like transferred property AND NOW HES GOING TO FORMALLY PROPOSE IN THE NEXT EPISODE?

2. ITS EVERYTHING I FEARED. They're now going to super speed through to correct as many open plot points as they can.

3. FUCKING SU OK LIKE I TRIED TO LIKE YOU I HATE HATING THE ONE WHO ONLY EVER TRIES TO LOVE THE MAIN LEAD AND GETS PUSHED ASIDE BUT YOUR JEALOUSY AND BITTERNESS WILL COST EVERYONE THEIR HAPPINESS FOR THE SECOND TIME OVER I do not think Jang Uk is gonna appreciate someone who kills his lover for good this time <3

4. SOMEBODY KILL JIN MU WHY ARE WE STILL ON HIM WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN THE BELLS??? WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???? I'm terrified he uses them on Jang Uk was there something that mentioned he could only use them on Naksu I have terrible memory.

5. Jo Won baby how could you do this to me. How could you do this. Who allowed. Who said this was okay. Look into my eyes. Look at your turtle and regret what you're doing. What are you doing

6. IS ANYBODY PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE QUEEN WAS DOING SOMEBODY STOP THE QUEEN FROM HURTING MY GIRL SHE WAS BEING REAL SUSPICIOUS IF U TOUCH A HAIR ON HER HEAD ILL BITE YOUR FUCKING HAND OFF MF

7. Fuck u Master Lee on god fuck you everytime you open your mouth it is to drop information we'd have liked BEFORE hoping this would end happy WHY WOULD YOU BRING NAKSU BACK JUST FOR BUYEON'S REAL SOUL TO SHOVE HER OUT EVENTUALLY AGAIN EITHER LET HER DIE ONCE AND FOR ALL OR GIVE HER SOMETHING TO LIVE. My poor sweetheart won't ever stop being used by people.

8. I mentioned this before, I'm saying this again. I adore Jang Uk but this very petty basic male lead writing was disappointing like you could have sent her off without being a dick and you couldve said more to apologise.

Again, all of this being said, there is so much relief in seeing Naksu and Jang Uk find their way to each other. I still can't get over it. I giggled when she blew at his face I'm sorry I couldn't take it seriously but then I grinned when they kissed like yea when you're in love that goes, that works.

[lemariee]

Chapter 6

Within seconds the air around them became a frenzy as Borra made his dramatic landing. Gerda swiftly fixed her face into its usual stoic expression with her eyes appearing bored. Despite her nonchalant posture, she was currently battling internal emotions that grew more cautious and somewhat fearful of the large creature in front of her.

Borra studied the room with a critical cold gaze as he walked around until he reached a table. His fingers brushed over it in an inspecting manner, instantly making Gerda grow irritated. He then turned around and studied her with stony eyes; causing Gerda's breath to hitch. The unnatural, ghastly features his kind possessed was something she always found disturbing.

"You missed a spot." Borra casually commented in a low taunting voice as he continued staring at her with his golden eyes.

Gerda felt her lips twitch in irritation as she fought back the urge to curse at him or make an offensive remark. She knew the only way of surviving would be to hold back all witty comments that would get her into more sorts of trouble.

"You supplied me with only a broom. What exactly did you expect me to clean tables with." Gerda calmly stated trying her best to control her tone.

Borra studied her some more before slowly making his way over to her. He was now close enough for her to stab him in the neck if she wanted to. She stared up at him with her heart now pounding against her chest as worry started to fill every fiber within her being. Despite it all, she still refused to display any sign of weakness in front of him.

His piercing gaze examined her face making her slightly uncomfortable by how invasive it felt. She nearly grimaced when both his scent and body heat radiated onto her. She wondered if all his kind smelled of forest and had abnormally high body temperatures. She flinched when his wings flickered behind him earning a brief inquisitive look from him.

"Do you fear me?" Borra asked with his head slightly tilted and a hint of smugness being detected in his tone. 

"I do not." Gerda answered in a stern voice as her cheeks lightly blushed with shame for allowing a slight display of emotion to escape.

"Your heartbeat says otherwise." Borra stated with his lips forming into a mocking smirk.

Gerda stiffened at his answer when she recalled Celtra explaining to her how advanced their hearing and sense of smell is. He could not only hear the quickened pace of her heart but most likely sense any hidden fear she pushed aside. His hand then lightly gripped her jaw, almost bringing her closer to him. Her lips parted as she released a quivering breath causing his eyes to briefly glance down at them before refocusing back up to meet her unsteady gaze.

"You can't hide anything from me human. I could smell the mixture of emotions within you but the most prominent one is fear." Borra said in a ravenous voice that made her feel like he was about to devour her.

"I feel no such thing...now take your hand off me creature." Gerda managed to hiss out as her hands instantly gripped his wrists ignoring the heat of his skin seeping into her palms.

Borra let out a laugh that vibrated throughout the quiet cave while feeding into Gerda's panic. He then pulled her in until she was practically against his chest. His grip on her jaw tightened while his eyes bored down at her with amusement and a snide smile revealing perfect teeth with tapered canines. She could only imagine his two sharp teeth tearing into her delicate flesh.

"Is that the name you choose to call me? You may attempt to mask your emotions in my presence but your heart and scent will always give you away. Your company is quite entertaining." Borra said with a smirk still in place.

He then loosened his grip and shoved her away from him, almost causing her to trip over her own feet like a toddler. She lightly rubbed her sore jaw with her searing glare following him. He simply ignored her discomfort and his face was once again dismissive with narrowed hard eyes.

"A visitor is expecting to see you soon. He is simply here to inspect you...I expect you to be on your best behavior." Borra said with a threatening tone that made shivers pulse through Gerda.

Gerda once again fought the urge to respond and simply leered at him praying he'd disappear. She absolutely hated his entire existence and yearned to stab him in the heart. He motioned for his guards to grab her before harshly flying out of the cave causing Gerda's hair to whip around her face. Her arms were suddenly yanked from behind and soon she was being pulled through the tunnels within the cave till she was brought outside.

She took in a fresh breath of air with the intent of imprinting it all to memory knowing she will never feel her feet on grass again. Only then did she realize this was the same spot she was originally brought to when she first arrived. Gerda wanted to savor the brief moment of freedom some more but her time was cut short when a guard grabbed her and tossed her inside a familiar cage made of vines. The cage was then suddenly lifted off the ground and flown up into the sky.

Gerda had no idea where she was being brought to but could only hope it was somewhere new. A change of scenery would be very much appreciated since it more than likely would be her final time out of the cave. Her mind continued on with its hopes and thoughts as she was glided through misty clouds. A cold breeze throughout the trip caused her to ball up and rest her head on top of her knees.

After a while, she felt her cage slowly descending meaning she had finally reached her destination. Outside she could hear voices but was unable to make out who they were. She became anxious when sounds of footsteps approached the door to her cage. It was then opened revealing a guard who reached in and pulled her out.

She suspiciously observed her surroundings and was met by Borra's frosted gaze as he waited for her with a familiar-looking man who had black hair that reached the crook of his neck. The guard led Gerda towards them and dropped her arm once she was a few feet from them. Gerda studied both of them with cautious eyes wondering what exactly was to be inspected of her. The man finally spoke up earning a glare from Gerda.

"My name is Diaval. I assume you've heard very little of me but my job is to check in on you from time to time. Since you're still alive I assume all is well for you?" Diaval asked as he studied Gerda.

Gerda suddenly remembered him from some time ago when Maleficent came over for dinner after Prince Phillip proposed to Aurora. He had accompanied the witch though he seemed to be nothing more than a servant. This man was rumored to have the ability to transform into a bird.

"I'm banished from my kingdom to be enslaved by this horrid creature yet they send you over to periodically check on me. What does it matter to them how I'm treated here? Aren't you that wicked witch's pet? I highly doubt she sent you here to insure I'm treated fair." Gerda said with anger boiling within.

"Guard your tongue human when speaking of me or Maleficent." Borra warned, glowering at Gerda with a clenched jaw.

"Why should I? That is what you both are." Gerda replied, raising her voice as her temper began to sizzle.

"Now let's take a step back shall we? First off I'm not a pet. Second of all, it is part of the terms that were agreed on. You are to not be tortured or killed no matter what the circumstances are. Seeing that you are indeed in one piece I suppose my job here is done." Diaval stated as he nodded his head towards Borra.

"I'm aware of those conditions however what exactly counts as torture? Does having broken bones and being strangled to near death count?" Gerda asked, immediately earning a scathing glare from Borra as his lips tightened into a line.

"Is this true Borra? If so I would have to inform the–" Diaval was in the process of announcing but was swiftly cut off mid-sentence.

"The king of Ulstead said I am allowed to punish her as I see fit. This human has been very disobedient since she got here and was simply disciplined but healed afterwards. I will not allow her actions to go unnoticed, especially when speaking to me." Borra bluntly explained as he stared Gerda down with malice.

"I suppose your reasons behind it all were necessary. As long as she's properly healed I'm sure it doesn't break the terms agreed upon." Diaval stated, causing a shock to fill Gerda.

"So that's it? I demand to speak to the queen about this! Surely she would disagree about my treatment here." Gerda yelled feeling her heart race against her chest with anxiety.

"The queen wishes to never hear from or see you again. According to her, you played a huge role in filling her head with lies about Maleficent and the fey folk. I strongly suggest you forget about her and accept your fate here." Diaval revealed, causing Gerda's face to pale.

"N-No...she would never abandon me like this. Lies! I-I refuse to believe any of it!" Gerda insisted, feeling the world around her crumble.

"I speak of no lies. The queen no longer require your services and fully supports your banishment. I suppose it's time I take my leave, good day to you both." Diaval said before turning around and transforming into a raven.

[mischief-incarnate]

Does the Method Really Matter?

@daily-writing-challenge Day 4

(Disclaimer, once more not a WoW story, though as stated previously Cat had her start in Warcraft.)

                Cat sauntered into the sitting area of the quarters she shared with the ambassador, Flame Bearer Davyth Thornhold.   The man was the most annoyingly good and honorable person she had ever met.   He never bent the rules or even raised his voice, except in battle, but that was the only exception.

                It was almost unnerving how well he had accepted and handled the Leto prince just shoving them off and ignoring their pleas for an audience.   Davyth had good naturedly stated, “We will find a way to achieve an audience.  I will do a bit of socializing around the palace till I find the method we will use.”

                That entire calm and collected attitude had just made her need to do something, and that she had.   She was certain to her very soul Davyth would be displeased with her, and the look on his face as she shut the door behind her told that story.

                “What did you do Cat,” were the first words out of his mouth.

                “You just assume I did something,” she huffed at him.

                He tilted his head and gave her that critical look that told her this man was not buying any of her bullshit.  “Cat… I am not assuming a thing.  I know that smug look on your face… what did you do?”

                She rolled her lower lip between her teeth and looked down trying to master an innocent look.  “Nothing much really.”

                He groaned and ran a hand down his face, one she quite fancied with it’s sharp features, aristocratic nose that had been broke at least once, eyes as blue as a perfect spring sky, and most importantly that neatly trimmed golden beard she wanted to play with desperately.   Not that he would ever let her get that close.   “Nothing for you is almost always monumental.”

                “I had a chat with Prince Ewan.”

                The man froze and stared at her.  “We have travelled a great distance to exert some of our two kingdom’s influence in Leto for desperately needed war supplies.  Despite my credentials and sealed letters from both our kings, I could not get in to see him… WHAT DID YOU DO?”  

                The sudden panic in his voice made Cat flinch a bit.  She could handle the holy warrior’s anger, but the panic and worry on his face twisted her gut with guilt.

                “You do not want details Davyth… just accept the fact that he will be here to talk to you later,” she said in a tiny voice.

                Davyth stared hard at her for long enough to make Cat to feel as if it was an eternity.  Finally he sighed, “If you get me thrown in the dungeon or tossed out the kingdom you are explaining to the kings and other leaders exactly what you did to cause that.”

                Cat looked up at him from beneath her lashes.  “Davyth, have a little faith in me.   I only made him a little bit angry, but not that angry.”

                “Oh… a little bit,” he groaned.  “Eternal Flame save me from this woman.”

                At that moment there was a soft knock on the door.  “Prince Ewan Leto, may I please have a moment to speak with the Ambassador Thornhold?”

                Davyth just stared at Cat a moment, shook his head and walked over to open the door.  “Of course, your majesty.  I am honored and humbled to have your time.”

                Davyth bowed deeply and stepped aside.   Ewan strode in, and while Davyth had his back to them shutting the door he gave Cat a look that promised retribution later.  The moment Davyth turned back around Ewan had a congenial smile on his face and was shaking the man’s hand.  “I understand you are quite the decorated war hero Sir Thornhold.”

                Cat simply looked away, a smug smile on her face.  That was how you got things done.

[cheetahsprints]

Though I'm a newer fan of Sonic... I understand the criticisms and agree with a few to some extent. But yeah there are people who seem... kinda harsh. I could see if it was an animated series and nothing was holding them back from having the anthros nearly all the time.

I focus on the fact we're getting a good representation of Knuckles! Especially since I watched Sonic Boom and game playthroughs from even before the meta era where he was just a comedic relief dunce a lot. It's great that he's still comedic in a way but also serious and not stupid to a ridiculous degree.

Issues aside, the casual and comedic elements of the show didn't affect his scenes/portrayal negatively when he was on screen/

I have cautious faith they can iron out the rough stuff for future stuff... and if not quite... it's still a glass half full to me as long as our main fluffers are still well-written and characterized, enjoyable when they're on screen.

Also, it is - to me - nice that isn't too heavy with Sonic lore/characters, so it isn't really a forced watch for people not into the tone/style (unlike a certain other cinematic universe...)

One way to look at it is that the quality of the movies may be well-received to the point that it kind of causes people to feel starved for lore heavy Sonic side stories... instead of something they can ignore.

Factor in those people tuning in who don't know about the extended list of characters and might get interested in it after the movies/Knuckles series and then read the comics etc but you don't want to overwhelm them with information from the jump.

There's the non-superfan professional critics who for some reason are too dumb of ass to open a wiki real quick and won't know wtf is going before reviewing if they shoved in a whole host of characters, like the Chaotix, and lore dumps/references... so a more broad kind of show might get it a better rep early on and maybe they can dive deeper later or will do so more gradually. I might be totally wrong about that, and it's kinda dumb, but it seems like something they could be going for, a wider appeal so that casuals and new fans can follow.

can i just say that as someone who got interested in the sonic universe only after the movies i LOVED the series?

seriously i read SO MANY complaints about the series from sonic’s fans and they make it sound so damn serious.

it was fun, it was nice and most importantly we got to see knuckles having fun and getting friends with wade and his family.

LOOK AT HIM. THE DEFINITION OF CUTENESS.

he has always been on the run, he has been ALL ALONE since his father and whole tribe died. he is not used to a normal, peaceful life. and he obviously feels overwhelmed because, despite sonic and the wachowski’s best intentions, they simply can’t understand how strange and different this all is for him.

and thanks to wade he got to feel a bit more comfortable and carefree. wade didn’t tell him what he was supposed to do to get accostumed to earth. instead, he showed him how much fun it could be if he let his guard down. and so knuckles got to act silly and open up to someone who, despite the obvious differences, he could relate to.

so yeah, there obviously were times in which i was like “where the heck is me boy?”.

but when i read people defining the series as “ridiculous” or “trash” i get pissed. it was good enough, sonic’s veteran fans gotta chill.

ALSO

she called him “one of her kids”. KNUCKLES WACHOWSKI CONFIRMED. WE KEEP ON WINNING Y’ALL.

[ofcryptsandhallow]

DeathBringer thoughts, opinions and criticisms

I want to like DeathBringer as a character. When he's not with glory he can be a very interesting character. Given that I'm taking Tui's word in good faith and he is indeed meant to be around Glory's age, this would imply he is a prodigy for his age, that he has done a lot of things most dragons his age have not done or are unable to do. That is a very cool idea to think about.

However, this NEVER gets brought up or utilized and it comes across more like Tui had TOO many plans for DB, but just fumbled hard to make any of them work to the point she had to shove them aside for a winglet instead of a main line book! This winglet does fix the age situation I think, that's what I heard I haven't read it BECAUSE IT IS NOT THAT READILY AVAILABLE WITHOUT PIRATING.

Hell, I don't even like the ship that much, the Glorybasket ship, and yes I'm one who prefers that name over any other shipname for them, GloryBringer sounds cool, but as an apparently rare enjoyer of the scavenger book, I liked the Murder basket name, it's funny and cute? And I bet he prays to the moons that no one finds out about the nickname. And honestly the book wasn't that bad, most people don't seem to like it because dragons took a back seat in the book and I think that's ok! We knew about the humans existing in the world of wings of fire and finally got an idea of how their society works and I actually think that's cool as a lore buff.

As for why I don't like the ship, it's not because of the weird age mistake that happened, or the fact that he was originally sent to kill Glory and his friends. It's actually because once he's with her, he is just a simp. There is no more personality, he's just a simp. And yeah he could have been secretly a dorky assassin all along but we don't get to see that prior to them getting together, do we? Nope, not really, he's more charismatic and sassy if anything. He does nothing that plot relevant afterwards, and it's just disappointing, given they could have been a power couple that put the SASS in asSASSin.

Honestly just wasted potential over all, giving all the build up only to throw him aside like that and downgrade him. Not to mention ignoring that he is one of many nightwings who killed and hurt other dragons only for it to be forgotten and ignored with Mastermind taking the fall as the Nightwings' scapegoat. Like he was a prodigy assassin who killed and maybe tortured who knows about many dragons prior to meeting glory and all the other nightwings get punished sorta (mostly mainly only Mastermind overall) but he gets a free pass cause he's the queen's boyfriend?

Also another reason I don't like the ship is that with how simpy he is, but also how Glory seems mostly disinterested, it feels very very one sided. I've seen people throw the "but glory hides her emotions!" argument at the wall, but like ... Not really? She's more blunt and straight forward about her emotions, if she likes something she'll let you know, and if she doesn't, you also most definitely know. And she had moments of being sweet and loving to her found-family, if she liked and truly liked Deathbringer back, even if she wasn't very interested in open/public displays of affection, we'd know and have her being generally sweeter and nicer to her supposed boyfriend.

Instead it comes across as not wanting the dumb love sick idiot basicly get himself killed for him, even though he's supposed to be a very capable assassin who could handle himself just fine and would be the number one dragon to guard her overall, especially compared to the rainwings who still aren't 100% sold on the idea of hurting another dragon even if that's the best case scenario. Literally we see this in the book that they aren't still fully ready to be proper guards for queen and she decided to bench her best option.

And at worst she seems kinda actually annoyed by her advances and hasn't gotten around to telling him off yet. I don't think it's a good look that THIS is how it comes across to at least readers. At least one scene where they aren't in the public eye and her returning the advances or being more openly affectionate with him would have been nice. The idea they SUPPOSEDLY have a dragonet together in the future (Firefly) isn't confirmation as that's only implied to be in a few timelines, not all and comes across as a nod to the fan ship at best.

Like the ship doesn't bode well to me and I think is written horridly. End of the story.

As for his appearance, I like it. He's a blue toned/hued whatever Nightwing. I personally think nightwings can be any cooler, but are normally dark, often near black hues of those colors, like how crows and ravens under the right light are actually very colorful and pretty to look at. Yes, blues, greens and purples may be the most common colors, but other colors CAN exists and do so, often with white freckles being the most common to exist marking.

For the record, I think the opposite exists for icewing, being they can also be almost any color but a pale, pastel near white shade of so.

But yeah I think only one other Nightwing that's blue like this vibrantly exists, and people like to assume she's a hybrid, which I hate to death given how proud nightwings are of being Nightwing historically, I feel like intertribe couples are rare and shouldn't be the first thing to consider when a dragon looks "weird" than what's status quo. Biodiversity exists, and so do genetic mutations that exist independently of a dragon being a hybrid. A dragon doesn't need to be a hybrid to look weird or different than what we've seen a tribe to look like.

Like for example a white Nightwing can just be albino, and a black icewing could just be melanistic.

[habeascorpseus]

so here's the thing. I get it. tommy is a kid but that doesn't mean that he can go around being purposefully mean spirited, there's a lot of things he has done wrong and this situation is one of them,

but.

but.

I want people to take a second. pause from typing their cancellation threads and positivity posts. and just think about how unimaginably fucked up it is that stan culture has reduced negative emotion to "playing the victim" and "being problematic."

because if you think about it, almost every single fucking teenager that has ever existed has an adverse reaction to non-constructive criticism or anger. your mom gets mad at you for not taking out the trash? you decide to never take out the trash and see just how long she can stand it before she just does it herself. when people bully you at school, you stop appearing in exposed spaces in the school and take to existing merely in classrooms and talking to teachers. when your friend is suddenly mad at you for a joke that you made and either won't stop yelling at you or won't stop ignoring you, your "apologies" get more and more passive aggressive and disingenuous. all of these reactions are human. all of these reactions are natural and don't make you the scum of the earth.

so there is something so INCREDIBLY fucked up about tommy, dream, tubbo, ranboo, etc. not being able to show a SINGLE negative emotion without being fucking crucified for it. to expect someone to put aside THEIR OWN HUMANITY for your own comfort. the above things I listed are all bad coping mechanisms but that's the fucking point. they're coping mechanisms. temporary relief for a problem that feels like it won't end anytime in the near future. a way to gain back a MINUSCULE amount of control over your life, by removing yourself from the situation or temporary alleviating your sense of guilt or anger so that you can properly evaluate how to find a solution.

tommy leaving twitter or making jokes about schlatt, and dream subtweeting people or instantly denying wrongdoing, while annoying, are coping mechanisms and reactions that make them human. their fame shouldn't disallow them from getting upset or petty or even crying. the fact that all of these CCs have to be their own PR team and shove down their anger and sadness to make people feel a bit more comfortable with them after getting screamed at for relatively miniscule mistakes is DISGUSTING. I don't even know anymore how it can be solved. but yeah this fanbase has a huge problem with controlling content creators to make them more palpable for THEM instead of understanding it's always been the CCs first and the fans second. because YOUR mental health shouldn't rely on their apology, but you expecting them to become a robot to make you comfortable with watching them 100% effects their mental health. so either get with it or get out of the fucking way and leave the goddamn fanbase. there shouldn't be any fucking toleration for this shit, ever.

[kmorales1]

Office Affairs

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: Explicit (Anyone under 18, go away, thanks.)

Warnings: Uh, unprotected sex(this is fiction please wrap it before you tap it), i'm bad at this. One(1) mention of spit(whoops).

A note: Hey, so I wrote this in an hour and (maybe) a half. This entire thing is purely based off my intense yearning for Javi the past few days(more like weeks). Also he's incredibly hard to write for so I hope I was able to capture his character. This is also my first time writing smut, let alone posting it. Be gentle with your critics lmao. It might not be entirely cohesive but I tried really hard but anyway this is what my brain popped out.

Javier Peña is the type of guy to take you home for a quick fuck, cuddle you like he’s in love with you, and then leave an hour later without barely a glance in your direction. You know this, you’d heard the whispers about him in the embassy when you were making your way to the filing room, or to the break room for your afternoon lunch.

And you believed them.

The first night Javier took you home you were 99% sure that you’d get the best fuck of your life out of him and then he’d be gone before you could even ask him to stay the night. And let’s be honest you wanted him to stay the night. To feel him pressed against you, his broad chest against your back, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. God, you yearned for that man. Or maybe just a man, it’d been a while.

You weren’t entirely wrong though, you did get the best fuck of your life out of him, but you also found the Javier that was sprawled in your bed, a lit cigarette between his lips, wasn’t the same man he was in the daylight of the office.

He was quieter, soft spoken, almost open.

The first few times he had stayed for a bit after to lay pressed beside you talking about work and you had even managed to pull a few details about his life back home. A few. But those few details only left you craving more, and who could blame you. He was intoxicating. You hadn’t been expecting it and now that you saw it, you wanted more.

“You know, you’re different like this.”

You had practically whispered the words to him, a little scared you might somehow push him back into the person he was in the light of day. But he only offered you something almost like a smile and leaned forward to press his lips to yours.

“I think, maybe i’m just different with you.”

He didn’t elaborate or say anything more, and you didn’t say anything in response. Cause what could you say? He’d pressed you open into the mattress a few minutes later his head between your thighs. Taking you apart slowly whispering filthy things as he brought you over the edge.

Your heart clenched as he laid his head on your thigh afterwards, his hair an unruly mess.

You wanted him like this all the time.

You weren’t naïve,though. So you didn’t think much of the way he laid beside you, or the things he said to you. He could feed any pretty woman words to make them feel special, and no matter how much you wanted to be different, something told you weren’t.

That became apparent when you started seeing less of Javier and hearing more about his informants and the other women he would bring home some nights. You weren’t mad, nor jealous, but you weren’t exactly fine either.

Coming home from a late night at work you had passed him and who you assumed was one of those said people that were whispered about. She was laughing at something, his arm locked tight around her waist guiding her down the hall. His face didn’t match hers but he certainly didn’t look unhappy, and when you crossed their path trying hurriedly to get into your apartment before seeing something you didn’t want to, he barely spared you a side glance.

Fine.

You stopped giving him the attention he silently would ask for in the daytime. His gaze burning hot on your body as you silently sipped your tea in the corner of the break room. Or the way he would brush your shoulder as he passed your desk. It’s almost laughable how he could seemingly seek your attention out one minute and then act like you didn’t exist the next. You didn’t play into it and things were fine.

Until they weren’t.

“You’re ignoring me, princesa.”

He’s got you cornered in the filing room his broad form practically towering over you. This is the closest you’ve been to him since you’d seen him that night, or the occasional time he would purposeful bump into you in the office.

“Hello Javi,” You barely managed to hold onto the papers in your hands. His close proximity to you slightly knocking you off center. You weren’t entirely lying when you said things were fine, but him being so close and the smell of him nearly overpowering was reminding you of the parts that were exactly not fine.

“I’m sorry i’ve been so busy.”

That’s a lie. You know it’s a lie, he knows it’s a lie. Things had been incredibly slow the past couple of weeks. Pablo in hiding from a recent raid that hit a little too close to home.

“I think we both know that’s a lie,”

And oh, is his voice a little breathier.

You curse yourself quietly, because you’re supposed to be putting this behind you. This man only sought you out when he felt like it when he was bored. But the way he’s pressed so close to you, if you just leaned forward a tiny bit. His eyes are skimming over your face, like he’s taking in the changes he’s missed in the past few weeks he hasn’t seen you.

There’s a tilt of his head and a small push forward and his lips are a near inch away from yours.

“Don’t you miss me, baby?”

Your knees nearly buckle.

He called you that exactly one time before. A rough raid with Carrillo had him stumbling into your apartment at nearly 1 am, luckily you had just gotten home from work and were still awake. His shirt was damp with sweat, the color of it slightly darker than the original pink, a stray mark of blood on his face- you later found out wasn’t his. He’d been needy, the way he had pressed you into the counter in your kitchen, fucked you within an inch of your life it felt like. Growling filthy things into your ear, praising you, before pulling you roughly to the floor(his back didn’t forgive him for days after that) and sliding you onto him. You’d rode him hard and fast nearly sobbing your release. He’d came up to cradle you to him. Whispering baby and your name reverently into your hair. You didn’t talk about it, what had made him so frantic. You had to practically peel yourself away from him and when you did it had broken the spell. He was up, fixing his jeans, kissing your forehead and then he was gone out the door before you could even get words out.

Javier whispering your name brings you back to the present, his eyes are locked on your lips and fuck-

Your fingers are dropping the papers and urgently sliding up his back to curl in his hair, pulling him the last bit of distance to bring his mouth to yours.

You’ll tell him later that you don’t forgive him for that debacle with the woman he brought home with him and you’ll also tell him the other things that have been pent up for the past almost month. And if he doesn’t like it oh well, but god right now all you want is to be fucked by this infuriating man.

“Javi-“

Your plea is broken as his tongue swipes the inside of your mouth his hands holding firmly to your hips.

“Javi please”

He shushes you, his leg coming to press between your thighs, right against where you want him the most and you nearly keen at the relief it gives. His thigh flexes and applies just the pressure to send your hips sliding forward.

“Quiet, princesa you don’t want anyone to hear,”

Oh fuck. You’re at work right now. You’re at work fuck. You’re at work. You remind yourself again.

One more time you’re at work-

But no one really comes back here. (that’s a lie)

His hands are guiding your hips roughly, and you’re practically riding his thigh. The feeling is too much and not enough all at once.

“Anything, Javi please.”

You’re breathless whimper has him growling under his breath as he pushes you deeper into the cabinets. His hands tear your skirt out of the way, pushing your panties aside before dipping his fingers into your center.

“Baby, fuck you’re so wet,”

His fingers leave you momentarily to slide into his mouth. The hum that leaves him is enough to push a wave of slick out of you, and you eagerly grip any part of him you can reach.

“Is this for me? You have missed me,”

The smug look on his face makes you want to roll your eyes, and you would if he wasn’t currently sliding his fingers back into you and curling them just like that-

“Fuck! Javi,”

The hand that is grasping your hips leaves to hurriedly slap a hand over your mouth. His eyes are burning into yours his teeth bared slightly.

“I said quiet, do you want our coworkers seeing how much a slut you are for me?”

He licks a line up the side of your neck before coming to suckle and bite lightly on your ear.

“Youd like it wouldn’t you?”

You’re practically dripping at his words, the squelching noise from his fingers fucking into you roughly is nearly obscene. You’re so close you could cry, if he could just give a little more.

“More,”

It’s a desperate plea for anything and it’s slightly muffled by his hand but he gets the message. His hand drops and you’re caught off guard by him roughly undoing his belt and pushing his pants down enough for his cock to spring free.

You nearly moan at the sight, long and thick with precum gathering at the tip. Fuck it’s been so long you want to taste. But he’s got you shoved back up against the nearest filing cabinet, his hand back over your mouth as he nudges his cock against your clit.

You keen at the slight pressure it gives before you jerk at the feeling of him sliding into you fully his hips flush to yours.

“Fuck, hermosa,” his teeth are clenched tight the cords of his neck strained as he whispers praises into your ear.

"Baby you’re so tight, missed you.”

You don’t even have time to process the last part before he’s almost urgently pulling out to slam back in. You want to worry about the noises that are being made but just as the thought comes in it’s gone. He’s fucking into you hard, his hand still covering your mouth tightly, trying hard to mask the moans that are escaping you. The slight jingle of his belt buckle as he roughly pounds into you shouldn’t be as erotic as it is. His head is pressed to your shoulder and you can feel the air from his mouth as he pants.

You’re so close you can practically feel yourself dripping down your thighs. One of your hands is curled tightly in his hair and the other snakes down your body to rub between your clit. Your breath is coming out harsh from your nose meeting the warm skin of his hand and god the thought of his hand over your mouth as he fucks you is so much you think you might come now.

But then his hand slips away and he’s sliding it in your hair to tilt your head back. Baring his teeth he gives one particularly hard thrust before demanding.

“Open.”

Immediately your mouth snaps open and he spits.

"Fucking swallow it."

You do, quickly before you lift eagerly to meet his mouth, teeth clinking harshly.

“Javi i’m gonna come-“

He’s pulling back, whispering urgently in your ear .

"Do it baby, do it now. Cum for me."

You’re pushing to meet his thrusts hurriedly chasing the orgasm you feel tightening in your stomach.

“I said now,” The harshness in his voice sends you reeling. You keen, a little too loudly to be in your office building, the thread snapping as you tumble over the edge. Your cunt clenching hard around him. Somewhere through the haze you feel Javier bite roughly into your shoulder and his cock jerk inside of you as he cums.

His hands are sliding around you to pull you into him his face meeting your neck as he pants, his cock softening inside of you. There’s a pleasant sounding hum from him as you card your fingers through his hair your nails scratching lazily at his scalp. The room is humid and sticky you suddenly come back to yourself, sinking down from your post orgasm high.

“Javier,”

The change in your voice has him pulling back to look at you before his eyes widen in understanding.

Yes, basking in the after sex glow isn’t the best idea at the moment.

“We can talk after work okay?”

There’s a nod from him before he’s sliding out of you with a hiss and tucking himself back into his jeans. And there’s a lot to talk about, he isn’t off the hook, and you’ve got to think it over because you know you have technically no right to even be upset.

You’re adjusting your skirt when you feel him cup your cheek.

“I really did miss you.”

Its said quietly, almost like it’s a secret.

And momentarily, you forget everything you need to be confused about with him.

"I missed you too."

[ca-suffit]

https://www.tumblr.com/ca-suffit/751391411754221568/yeah-these-anons-clearly-have-not-done-any

*They’re not as deep as THEY think they are.

You are deep and that was a typo, I’m sorry.

But in other news I was pondering what you said about Lestat being a self insert for most white women in this fandom. It’s quite clear and the denial of it means to submit to ignorance. There are several accounts within this fandom in which white women had behind and use Lestat in fics to live out their racist ass fantasies. A03 has a plethora of fanfiction that has Louis being this rough and tough individual while Lestat is some blushing(and slutty) bride. This characterization is obviously incorrect and deny it’s incorrectness is to loudly claim to the public that the process of understanding the content in front of them has failed(embarrassing). Obviously I won’t explain the characters and all that because you’re well aware which is good but I think it needs to be common knowledge that in this fandom Lestat is a self insert for some of these lestupids Lestans to work out their racist ass fantasies. They don’t care for Louis, Claudia, or Armand and it’s unfortunate that those great characters have to be in a fandom where people like moron ass lestans exist and purposely misunderstand them.

It's ok, I knew what u meant! that response was a real laugh, not laughing AT u or anything. I rly thought the lil "lmao" at the end was funny af.

For the rest. well......I mean Lestat originally was Anne Rice's self insert so lol. They are carrying on the legacy ig!! It's just funny how they do these things and end up acting like Lestat IRL but lack self awareness about it. "I solved racism bcuz now I'm fucking this black guy and have a black kid with him, hdu call me racist." Girlll oooooookkk LOL.

My fav thing is how they say he's the most reliable of narrators bcuz he admits to doing shitty things so he's telling the truth (and Anne Rice said he was too.....like she was reliable herself lol what). Ok but u can say things are bad but did u learn from it?? We see Lestat do this in the show and that's why 1.6 is one of my fav episodes. It's the pattern they follow too. They surface level can say things but don't have any deeper understanding or desire for change. I rly hope the show fixes this with Lestat in a way that Anne Rice never could and it's gonna fuck them up so hard bcuz they don't have any concept of what real growth looks like. That's why they can't understand how the DV could be real and how ppl could ever move past it. Anne Rice never wrote like that, they want a retcon cuz she was ALL retcons. No development, no critical thinking. Having Lestat be a metaphor for white ignorance, european ignorance, patriarchy, slave owner, white privilege etc. is SO GOOD. but ppl just shove all that aside to make him some one dimensional slutty white gay drag queen or whatever and it's like.................?? this is grown adults doing this too. like can u at least keep it to the books or smthing if u do this. but no bcuz they have to include Louis being black so they don't feel racist while writing their racist shit 🙄

[imagine-straykids]

Stray Kids SS: Argument PT. 1

SS for short scenarios. Stray Kids arguing with their significant others

requested? No. I just write whenever I feel like it.

genre: fluff, angst, romance, etc etc.

---------------------------------------------- 

Bang Chan

     You’re no bragger but you think you’re pretty reasonable most of the times. You understand your boyfriend is a busy person and his work came first and foremost. You’ve tried not to take it personally and he has made it pretty clear before you guys even got into this relationship that he wouldn’t be the best person with time management.

     Of course you took a gamble and compromised to form this bond with the one and only Christopher Bang. You had always put his feelings first whether that’s him choosing his friends, work, or music over you, you were definitely okay with that as long as he came back to you at the end of the day. Even the smallest texts nearing the end of the night like “Goodnight sweetie, hope you had a good day!” was enough for you. You weren’t asking for much. You don’t know how much lower you can set your standards because slowly and progressively, Chan was already failing to meet them.

     The most you guys have ever been apart was maybe two weeks and even then, Chan had always made sure to check on you through texts or phone calls. So when it was nearing a month, and he has rejected your invitation to do something for the second time in a month, you were left to feel less than pleasant whether you had set yourself up for failure or perhaps did you deserve more than what you had settled for.

       You couldn’t help but to be upset to some degree and even then you still doubted if your feelings were valid. You even felt guilty since you had promised him a long time ago you would be understanding. Were you wrong for just wanting a little bit of your boyfriend’s attention?

       So when Felix brought you his breakfast treats like he would every Sunday because the boy loves baking, he could tell in your eyes that your world was seeing more than blue. You weren’t your usual self who was always welcoming and greeted him with warmth. The tone in your voice and your body language imitated that of a walking dead and although you tried your hardest to put on a great appearance, Felix could see right through you.

       When he had asked you if you were alright, a sea of tears just came bursting through. Like a puddle that you had held inside for weeks finally being freed. You told Felix everything and everything. It was nice to have someone to talk to, for once in a long time. Felix had always been very understanding of you and was very much like a brother. He reassured you and you felt so much better after, that when he left, you even thought you might finally be able to get a good nap after some words of comforts.

       Your nap was shortly disrupted when a series of loud knocks were ringing through your door. It took you a few seconds to process everything because your brain was still trying to wake up along with you. Then a beep from your phone was heard. You turned to the left side where you had placed your phone and noticed long notifications of texts and missed calls from Chan. Oh lord. Well of course who could that be at the door then.

       Felix had only told Chan out of good intention, and honestly you weren’t even surprised. Not one thing said to one of those boys will stay in its origin. You crankily tossed your blanket aside and walked up to the door as you took a deep breath. You opened the door and it was just the one person you were expecting.

       Chan looked totally out of breath, as if he had been beaten by a stick over and over again, you can see the sweats tracing along the line of his forehead down to his cheeks and his hair has gotten messier than usual.

    “Chan--” You were cut when Chan just shoved himself inside your apartment.

    “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He looked at you dead in the eyes as he shut the front door.

    “Tell you what?” You weren’t acting naive but you just wanted to know what exactly Felix had told him.

    “What you told Felix. Why didn’t you tell me that? That you wanted to hang out with me, that you’ve been feeling sad and lonely?”

    “I did. I asked you twice if you wanted to go out or do something. You said no both times.” You defended yourself.

    “Why didn’t you say anything when you were not feeling good then?” A worrisome look overshadowed his angrier look earlier.

    “Pfft,” you scoffed. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Really Chan? Do I need to feel less than okay, do I need to question if my boyfriend even wants to be with me, for you to actually worry now?” you challenged him full on.

    “What do you mean.” Chan wasn’t gullible, but sometimes when he gets too caught up on one thing, he misses another.

    “Why should it be my responsibility that you act like a reasonable boyfriend who cares about his girlfriend’s needs. I shouldn’t need to tell you when you should be doing your parts. You were on the line of almost ignoring me for a whole month, doing whatever you’re doing without caring for my well being, and the two times I ask to do something, I get pushed aside. And you’re here telling me I’m not trying harder?”

    “I already told you from the beginning, y/n, that I am not the best person to be in a relationship with. I lose track of times, get lost in my own thoughts. I apologize if I made you feel like I didn’t care about you. I do. Sometimes I just need time to myself, you know. And I try to do it without hurting your feelings but it’s hard. Because I care about you too.”

    “I know that you’ve warned me from the beginning. And I’m a fool. I can’t do it anymore, Chan. I’m not the girlfriend you want me to be. I thought I could do it because I love you so much... but it hurts to be away from you. I can’t do it, Chan. Sometimes I just miss you, and want to be with you, but I’m afraid I’m going to bother you because you’ve already set your boundaries. I’m sorry.” you started sobbing even thought you told yourself you weren’t going to cry. 

    Chan quickly pulled you into a hug as you ugly sob into his chest.

    “It’s going to be okay, y/n. We can get through this together. If you still love me, we can talk it through. You still love me, right?” he angled your frowning face up to his.

    “Of course,” you answer like music to his ear.

----------------------------------------------

Lee Know

    Before you ever accepted Minho’s confession, you’ve been told by nearly everyone around him that he would be a handful. And oh Jesus, you wish they had warned you better, because he wasn’t just a handful. Minho was a pain in the ass if he didn’t try. Even before you got together with him, he found pleasure in teasing and making fun of you whenever he got the chance to. 

    But besides the assholery moves Minho liked to pull, when he was just with you, he showed sides of himself that only you got to experience. That’s pretty much your answer whenever somebody ask you how did you guys even got into a relationship considering y’all were pretty much like fire and water. The person who everyone else found to be a living nightmare because you just don’t mess with him since he has such a way with his words, you’ll find yourself questioning your intelligence.

     Minho can either be the best person you’ll ever meet in your lifetime or as so he likes to claim, or he can be the person that makes your feet turn the other way whenever you hear his name. So you knew this weren’t going to turn out pretty when Minho was forced to be in a team with Hyunjin for game night and Hyunjin was losing every single point possible.

       At first, him and the rest tried to play it off light heartedly, but you can feel the room growing sour each time Hyunjin missed the hints and was unable to score a point for this game of Charades that was suggested by the super innovative Chan, who decided that Hyunjin and Minho in the same team was evolution.

       The others were having a blast poking fun at Hyunjin and Minho whose points were definitely not looking very nice until Minho out of a sudden, slapped the pile of papers onto the ground and said he’s had it.

    “I don’t want to be in a team with him! He sucks!” Minho pointed fingers at Hyunjin who obviously took it personal by the look of his face.

      The room silenced and everybody just stared until Chan spoke up, “Come on, just this once. You guys are never on the same team because you always want to change.” 

    “Yeah, because he sucks, can’t you see. Even a 5 year old kid would be able to score more points than him. We’re not even losing by a little. We’re unredeemable at this point,” Minho spit out without missing a single beat.

       Everybody was growing uncomfortable, especially Hyunjin who had done his best to stay positive the whole time.

    “Minho! Can you not. That’s incredibly rude. It’s just a game. Losing one night won’t kill you. How childish can you be.” You stared at your own boyfriend in disgust.

     “Really now, you’re going to argue with me against this?” It was like he really couldn’t believe you were not on his side.

    “So what if I am. You’re acting ridiculous and you deserve to know it.”

    “Guys! Please stop. Don’t argue because of me please. He’s right. I wasn’t very good. Don’t be angry at him because of me, y/n. I’ll be fine. I’m going to go outside to get some fresh air, I’ll feel better once I come back.” Hyunjin excused himself and left.

      You could only roll your eyes when Minho, being his stubborn self was refusing to go after Hyunjin and continued to stay in the same spot.

    “How selfish can one be.” You criticized him before you followed after Hyunjin.

     You had hoped Hyunjin didn’t think too much of it, knowing how Minho usually is. Being the sweetheart he is, he thanked you and told you not to worry. When you went back inside, the others notified you that Minho had already left and honestly, you could care less. He was being a d*ck and this time, you weren’t going to cave in. Only time would help kill that inflated ego of his. 

         About a week has passed and you still haven’t talked to Minho and vice versa. You knew that his diva ass would never give in, so you didn’t quite know why you were silently battling him when you’re pretty sure if you wanted to fix this, you’ll have to do it yourself. But you didn’t want to.

         You’ve had enough of Minho always getting what he wants, always having the last say in anything, and thinking that you’ll always bend backward for him. It’s kind of funny because Hyunjin had actually told you that Minho already apologized, so why are you guys still fighting? Pride. Now it’s just a fight of pride. And as much as Minho has it, you have a lot of it as well.

           It was the weekend, and usually you’ll spend your weekend with Minho doing whatever you guys usually do but since he wasn’t here anymore, you decided to just spend your day relaxing with a nice cup of tea watching Netflix. It was your day off work and you weren’t going to let this day go to waste.

           You gently set your tea down on the little table to your right, about to lay against the couch when the corner of your eyes caught your screen lit up with a text message. You sat back up and struggled for about a couple seconds trying to reach your phone that you had placed a little too far. 

           It was from Minho. You couldn’t believe it. Reading what he sent you just made it even more amusing.

        Stupid, are you going to apologize or not - Minho Lee

        Why should I apologize. What the hell? I didn’t do shit - Y/n

        Okay well I already said sorry to Hyunjin so I don’t know why you so pressed for. I didn’t do nun to you. I mean I know you kind of had a thing for him and all before we met but don’t take it out on me - Minho Lee

         This little shit, you thought.

         Bruh. I never liked him tf. I just think he’s very pretty. Prettier than me. And unlike someone, he actually has half a brain and some human decency - Y/n

           Okay we get it, you have a crush on Hyunjin - Minho Lee

           No, dumbass. The problem is you always going around saying, doing whatever you like without considering other people’s feelings. I know that’s your personality and all, but there’s a limit between what’s okay and what’s crossing the line, and whenever I try to tell you, you never listen. Always doing whatever you want. Hyunjin is one of your best friend and you hurt his feelings the other day and didn’t even feel bad about it until someone got in your face and told you you were being a d*ck. I love you, Minho. But I just wish you would listen sometimes and be open to I don’t know... improvements? - Y/n

           I’m sorry, I’ve just grew up this way so it’s hard to get out of a pattern. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean and sometimes I say things I do mean and then I don’t realize that my actions has caused harm to the other person, because I’ve just always been this way you know. Others have tried telling me before but I've always brushed it off because I am a stubborn person. But I care about you. You’re one of the very first person other than the members that I deeply care about. So if you’re telling me this out of love then I’ll take it into consideration. I know I should’ve been nicer to Hyunjin as well. Chan yelled at me for a while the other day, so please don’t yell at me too :( - Minho Lee

         Of course I care about you. Everything I do is out of love, dear. You’re one hell of a nuisance but I love you. I know you grew up this way and it is difficult getting out of a pattern, but take little steps. I’ll be here with you. and yeah, you totally deserved that from Chan. Jk I love you - Y/n

         You’re mean :( can I come over. We were supposed to go shopping today - Minho Lee

          Mhmmm. Let me think about it - Y/n

          Well you have 2 seconds, because I’m already outside your door - Minho Lee

----------------------------------------------

Changbin

    Changbin liked to brag about anything and everything, whether that’s how many confessions he got on Valentines, to how many people who wanted to be his partner when it came to a science project, or even the amount of girls that would hit on him daily.

    You never really minded because that was just how he is. And of course, mainly because you knew all those scenarios only existed in his head and was as real as flying fairies and pink unicorns. So when someone was actually blatantly hitting on him, Changbin wasn’t as knowledgeable as his bluffs claimed to be.

    Changbin was one of the best from his music class, so good that the professor made him the teacher’s assistant even when the semester was on going. He usually talk tales of how many students usually needs his help when it came to writing lyrics or composing as a beginner. Interesting enough, but nothing major as he’d like to phrase it.

    Then every time when you guys would usually meet at the end of classes to which you usually ask how his day went, he started talking about this girl who he’s currently assisting. At first it was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a student from his class who he’s helping because that’s his job. Even the first two or three days of his on-going blabbering about this student didn’t kick something in you until maybe the fourth time this week where this girl is always managing to squeeze herself into his schedule everyday. It shouldn’t have bothered you, but for some reason it did.

    Especially when he’d say alarming things like “Oh yeah and she also asked me if I wanted to get a drink after class but I told her I have plans.” or “She compliments me a lot and told me if I have time, she’d love to listen to my work.” 

    Maybe you’re overreacting and she’s just a really engaging and kind person. You felt bad at first for assuming such a thing about another human being, so you gave her the benefit of the doubt because you didn’t know your dumbass boyfriend would be this oblivious when someone is clearly trying to get inside his pant.

    So when you happened to walk past the school garden the following week and saw the both of them from your very clear sight, you were a little more than dumbfounded. This girl was not even trying to hide it at all. You didn’t know how Changbin was keeping his eyes to himself at this point. The outfit she was wearing was definitely very sexy and appealing. Changbin was still faced down, scribbling something on the music sheet trying to get the female to engage but she clearly had something else in mind.

    You could’ve sworn you saw her hand trailed alongside Changbin’s thigh and so you accidentally let out a shriek, but quickly hid behind the thick white pillar, grumpily dragging yourself back to class in anger after.

    After your final class of the day, Changbin waited for you at the bench near the entrance where you guys had always met up. He beamed with ecstasy once he saw you, but you quickly brushed past him and continued walking completely shunning his existence. His smile progressed into a frown once he realized that you were not in your usual mood.

    He ran in front of you and blocked any further movements.

    “Y/n, are you okay?” He asked with a concerning expression.

    You didn’t say anything and only continued scowling.

    “Come on. You know you can tell me anything,” He encouraged.

    You of course, continued to be silent for a few more seconds because you honestly couldn’t get anything out due to how enraged you were feeling on the inside.

    “You liar!”  you slapped his chest with literally no strength at all as your tears escaped at the same time.

    “Wait hold up, what did I lie about?” He was in complete confusion.

    “I saw it, Changbin. You and her at the garden. How could you let her make a move on you like that.”

    His face showed that it wasn’t really clicking with him until he thought more about it.

    “Who did I let make a move on me? Minji? I was only helping her, Y/n. Please don’t misunderstand. The class was getting really loud and we needed a quieter place, so I asked the instructor if it would be fine if me and her went somewhere else.”

    “So you just let her be all up on you like that? She was clearly hitting on you, Changbin. How do you not see it?” School was no place to be emotional, but here you were, bawling like a little baby at the entrance of the school as Changbin tries to comfort you. You guys definitely weren’t getting weird stares. Nope.

    “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you thought of it like that. Cause I didn’t. I just thought of her as another student that needed help. I’m sorry Y/n, if I made you uncomfortable. I didn’t do it on purpose I swear, because in my mind, there’s no one else but you. I know I like to boast all the time but I only do it as a joke because you seem to like it. I would never in a million year think of hurting your feelings. Hundreds of other girls could give me attention or like me, but none of them matters if they’re not you. I only love you, Y/n.”

    His words made you immediately stopped sobbing as if your broken heart has been patched up.

    “R-really? You mean it?” You pout.

    “Of course, silly. I would never think about being with someone else but you. Never.” He leveled your face with his.

    “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. Just seeing another girl being intimate with you kind of tugged something in me.” you awkwardly chuckled.

    “Aww. My baby was jealous. Not going to lie, you’re kind of cute when you’re upset,” He teased you.

    “Changbin!” you slapped his shoulder in retaliation.

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Hyunjin

    Between the both of you guys, Hyunjin had always been the one who had the upper hand in almost everything when it came to catching others attention. Anything ranging from looks, to talent, or even intelligence, you can admit he’s got it better than you do.

    Going out to public places, you quickly got used to getting stares from other girls or even old Aunties who would comment on how good looking your boyfriend was, and how lucky you were to have him. They weren’t wrong, you were of course very lucky to have someone like Hyunjin who was definitely way too good for you. You didn’t take it to heart very much that other girls have eyes for him the way you do, because he’s made it distinctly known that he only saw you. Jealousy in the relationship was a bigger problem for you than for him at the beginning, because compared to him, you were not as sought after.

    The whole duration of your guys relationship, he never had to deal with any actual threat or competition that he could possibly lose you, or that you would find someone else more intriguing than him because he was always accustomed to you having your whole attention toward him whenever he was in the room. So that was why when the opportunity finally present itself, he found himself developing a sort of ill feeling that he wasn’t familiar with. A feeling that left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that turned his vision red when he wasn’t a violent person in the first place.

    You had been talking about this friend all week, reminiscing the past to Hyunjin about all the crazy things you and this friend did back in the days. Hyunjin being the amazing boyfriend he usually is, was very supportive of course. You haven’t seen this friend in years ever since his family moved away to another city.

    He called you a few days ago to let you know he’ll be back in Seoul, visiting for a few days and wanted to catch up. How could you let this chance pass by. The person that was there for you when you had your darker days, the person that ran miles through the rain when you needed him, there’s no way you would say no.

    Hyunjin was more than happy to accompany you to the Mall although you did assure him he didn’t have to, as you didn’t want to bother him if he had plans, but he was persistent he wanted to meet your friend and get to know one another. Since he agreed to everything, you thought might as well introduce them to each other.

    But Hyunjin’s cheerful and optimistic aura rapidly changed into a stinging one when your friend ran up to you with a hug, and oh boy did your friend looked nothing like Hyunjin had drew in his head. In his head, he was a she. The person that was arms deep within your hug didn’t have long flowing hair, nor did he looked very feminine like he had pictured. He was growing some kind of hatred for this stranger that he barely even knew, and it was only solidified more when you would get so engaged in conversation with your friend, you would forget for a moment Hyunjin was even there. 

    The way you laughed at his jokes mirrored how you would exactly react to Hyunjin’s whenever he said something funny. He hated how your friend would sometimes pull you so close to him and you would just go along with it. Hyunjin literally felt invisible. This friend of yours managed to shrink you and Hyunjin’s year long relationship into what felt like you both only knew each other for weeks. Hyunjin could tell just by his body languages and actions that this friend knew you for years. And then he just felt like nothing. Hyunjin was nothing compared to this friend of yours, and he was mad at himself, mad at you, mad at him, mad at everything.

    He was so tangled up in his own train of thoughts that he hadn’t even realized you have been trying to call him.

    “Hyunjin!” you pinched his arm not too hard.

    “Oh I’m sorry, what.”

    “Do you want ice cream?” You asked him.

    “I’m good no thank you,” He answered completely uninterested.

    “But you love ice cream, Hyunjin. Are you sure?” you tried to get a confirmation just one last time.

    “Yes, I am sure.” He rolled his eyes as if he’s being pestered by an annoying bug. It wasn’t what he said but it was the way he said it. He was giving you attitude and you didn’t like it at all.

    “Okay geez, just a no would’ve done.” you frowned.

    Hyunjin has his days, but he’s usually self composed when it came to your friends. He had always been nice and pretty kind if someone was close to you since you were his girlfriend, but he was different today. He was hushed and soundless, not at all like the Hyunjin you knew.

    “What flavor would you like, Y/n?” Sanghyun, your friend asked.

    “Mhmm. Any flavor will do.”

    “I’ll get mint for the both of us then, if that’s fine with you.” Sanghyun looked for an answer in your eyes.

    “Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded.

    You were not too cool with the flavor but you haven’t seen your friend in a while and it wouldn’t hurt to just take it this one time, for him. It didn’t bother you too much that he might’ve forgotten. It’s been a while.

    Hyunjin was beyond confusion. For as long as he knew you, you hated mint. Absolutely refused to eat it whenever he took you out, and now all of a sudden you’re fine with it? For him?

    “But I thought you hate mint. So what? You suddenly like it now because he suggested it?” Hyunjin fired, as if he was ridiculing you.

    For a second you thought you forgot to clean your ears, because you refuse to acknowledge that Hyunjin was actually trying to cause a scene right now, in the mall, with your friend by your side, in front of all these people.

    “What’s up with you today, Hyunjin. Giving me an attitude when I asked a simple question and now this? If you have a problem, you can tell me. No need to make a scene,” you scolded him, utterly embarrassed by your boyfriend’s action.

    Sanghyun looked terrified down to his toes just glaring you guys down.

    “Fine, I’ll tell you what my problem is.” And without your consent, Hyunjin somehow managed to drag you all the way to the parking lot against your protest.

    “Let go, Hyunjin!” you threw his hold off of you.

    “What the hell is your problem? You made me look like an absolutely fool back there. How do you think Sanghyun feels now, seeing how much of an asshat my boyfriend is acting after all those stories I told him about how you’re the most kind and caring person ever,” you raised your voice, too irritated at this point to even care if anyone heard you.

    “Well, I probably wouldn’t be acting like this in the first place if you had made it clearer that your friend was a freaking guy.”

    “Really, Hyunjin. Is this what it’s about? That my friend is a guy? That’s it? I’m sorry but, if you’re going to act childish and jealous because you can’t handle me being friends with the opposite gender, then that’s your problem. Not mine. Besides, we don’t even like each other like that. He was one of my only friend back when I had nobody. He was there for me when no one else was. I don’t see anything else in him but the same guy back then who was like a best friend to me.”

    You had hope you knocked some sense into him. Your tone turning from furious to more serious.

    “I don’t care if he was your friend from back then or whatever. You have me now. I don’t like the way he looks at you, or act around you. I never act like that around any other females.”

    You were this close. This close to just straight punching him and running him over with his own car. The person you were talking to right now and yesterday was the difference between day and night. You think that might’ve been the shittiest thing Hyunjin has ever said since you’ve known him and you were denying it yourself that it came out of his mouth.

    “Oh go cry me a river, Hyunjin! When I was telling you the details of my past friendship before you even knew the gender, you were rooting for me, but now that you know it’s a guy you’re all of a sudden acting like a little bitch? Why does it matter whether it’s a guy or a girl?” You questioned his integrity, but most of all, you were just in disbelief.

    “Fine, whatever. Suit yourself.” He sarcastically threw his hands up in the air in defeat and drove away without final words from you. Unfuckingbelievable. He was like a little child throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wanted.

    You didn’t want to leave Sanghyun hanging, but if you were to be frank, Hyunjin totally killed all the good vibes within you and left you with no motivation or energy to do anything else. You made way back to the ice cream court and simply apologized to Sanghyun on yours and Hyunjin’s behalf. He didn’t mind too much and only wished you luck on the relationship. It was a bummer that he was leaving tomorrow already and the only day he was free to spend it with you, your man child “boyfriend” had to go and ruin it all.

    When you entered the lonely atmosphere of your hollowed apartment, Hyunjin’s well being did crossed your mind because he was notorious for being quite stupid, always acting on his feelings whenever he was upset. You never had to worry too much before though because it was only on rare occasions where his head would be so far up his ass, but you knew this time was one of those occasion. But you were mad at him as well. Never in a million years could you picture him ever saying those nasty things.

    You settled down on the couch and eventually put your mind and body to rest. Today’s been a long day and you needed that nap more than anything. You had called Jeongin and Chan to notify them of what happened and to keep an eye out for Hyunjin in case, before closing your eyes and seeing black.

    When you were finally conscious enough, the only thing that made its existence clear, was the sound of traffic outside your window. You may have overslept just a tiny bit. Rubbing your eyes to get a better view of your surroundings, you felt a weight on you as you struggled to get up. Turning towards your left, you found Hyunjin completely knocked out and slouched against you with his head on your shoulder and his arms around your waist. Right, Hyunjin had a spare key to your apartment.

    He looked like an absolute angel that fell from heaven, almost as great as the day he conquered your heart. He was adorable and quite resembles a puppy when he’s not spurting all those hateful words. You needed to use the restroom bad so you made an effort to untangle him off of you but just as you were about to get up, a strong force wrapped you back down. 

    “Ahhh! I thought you were asleep.” you faced him with bulging eyes.

    “I was.” He calmly replied, his arms still around you.

    “Bummer. I like it when you’re peaceful and not so angry. You are cuter that way,” you purposely jabbed.

    “I’m sorry. I really am. I wasn’t thinking at the moment and just acted on emotions. I’m really sorry y/n. I was angry when I drove off but when I got home, I just kept thinking and thinking and the more I thought, the stupider I realize I was... please forgive me.” he pouted and rested his head on your shoulder.

    “Oh you big baby. Don’t try to bribe me with your cuteness now. You made Sanghyun scare of you and today was his only free day to catch up,” you scolded him as you pinched his cheeks.

    “I won’t ever do that again, I swear. I’ll be better next time. I was just... jealous when I saw another guy acting close to you. It makes me scare that I’m going to lose you. I know I was wrong. But I just want you to know I’m sorry.” He said it softly but also with shame.

    “Oh dear. There’s nobody else I love more than you. If anything, I should be the one scared to lose you.”

    “I only love you, y/n.” He looked into your eyes and did that little smile that always makes your heart weak. The one where his dimples would pop out.

    “I love you too, Hyunjin. Now let me go, I need to pee.”

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SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH HYUNJIN’S. anyways.

Part 2 for the remaining members coming soon

[persephoneyss]

The Monster.

Pairing: park jimin x f!reader.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, anguish.

Summary: ❝You can be reborn like spring, but your nightmares will follow your footsteps at night.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, voyeurism, Jimin is a little delusional, implicit murder, death threats, a little violence, stalking, death of secondary characters, reader idolizes his mother, humiliation.

Number of words: 6000+

︙ Author's note: this is my first fic here, sorry if there are errors. My first language is not English and I don't speak it fluently either, so I used the translator. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoy it, I am open to criticism. Thanks!

(Puedes leer este y más fics aquí en español.)

To block.

Your mind felt strangely familiar, like it was processing the same situation all over again. And then the same thing happened again.

Blocking.

You never noticed those little details, invisible to the eyes of others. Or maybe you took too seriously the message and advice that your mother always told you when you were afraid of being left alone in your room because of the obvious and silly repetitive story of the monster under the bed, you were crying looking for your mother's room in the middle of the night. You were looking for refuge in her arms. However, the only loving words she had for you were: "Ignore him and he will go away, darling."

It seemed very clever to you, you began to close your eyes ignoring your worst fears and in a short time you could do what most children could not at your age, sleep alone in the dark.

Your mother was wise, maybe that's why you never understood why your father left her overnight. She never commented on the subject and little by little it was forgotten in her daily lives. Your father never existed, you never saw him again.

In his small town no one was exceptionally well known, unless he had done something good or bad enough to be called a hero or, in the same way, a villain. You were barely seven years old when it happened, a family with a lot of money had chosen your town as a decent land, enough to build their luxurious house where their children who came from golden cradles would grow up. According to the gossip, they were foreigners coming to invade their town and rule it, when in reality the Parks never got more involved in politics than necessary.

They were just rich, spending money.

Young women from all over the world and even from other distant towns came every day to try to conquer the privileged children of the great mansion built finely and strategically in the middle of the main square. The young women were beautiful, many times you stood at the door of your house admiring their distinguished perfect faces and you wondered if the children of the Park family were really worth it so that young and beautiful women who had previously been rejected would come back again. in search of new opportunities.

Your mother sometimes stood next to you with a smile and released another phrase that ended up marking your style of thinking, her voice sounded so ethereal: "Money compensates for external beauty, plus the dignity that you lose to those who possess it, it will never have a price."

Your lost look made her smile beautifully badly, then that same sweet voice that taught you things that other women would see as irrelevant, she too moments later she orders you to come home to eat. You thought about it so much, your mother was beautiful, she could remarry if she wanted to. However, she never did, or at least until that day.

You were poor, you were never afraid to accept it. You noticed it almost immediately, when you saw other children playing with toys that seemed impossible that you will ever possess, your mother was friends with the one who was best friends with your father, a carpenter who seemed to be very kind. He always gave you toys that came out with small defects and he couldn't sell, he was a good man until he seemed to misinterpret the situations and her relationship with your mother, unexpectedly asking her to marry him. Obviously you had to stop seeing him after the rejection. However, you were stubborn like the woman who gave you life, almost every day after finishing school you walk two streets to her local.

"How is your mother? Any suitors who weren't rejected the first time?" You laughed, helping him finish his last job. You shook your head, Peter was always very nice and honestly funny, you still didn't understand how your mother could reject them, but you never got into adult affairs. You were just an eight-year-old girl.

"She still misses dad." You whisper trying to drive a nail into loose wood, before being interrupted by Peter.

You look curiously at his downcast face of hers, as if she was keeping something deep within himself. But he quickly changes his expression as well as the subject. "Very good girl, no more help for today" he says, removing the dangerous tools out of your reach, you let out a exhausted sigh wanting to help him. Deep down you felt guilty. "How are you doing in school? I heard that the Parks will start a new campaign to help more in the education of the children, maybe you can see someone from the family up close."

You move your head in distracting affirmation playing with a piece of wood, Peter watches you for a moment and then sighs. You really were special, and if I could tell what happened to your father, you would let go of that glow for sure.

The following days passed in the same way, there was only a radical change in your routine. Now they forced you to stay longer in school so that you could take art classes with the children of the Park family. You had heard many mothers talking to yours about how handsome they were, and since their daughters would undoubtedly have a chance with Jimin, who was the eldest son and of course the first-born heir, you thought for a long time about a tall man with more years than all those young women who hallucinated with the perfect millionaire husband. However, it was all an illusion. Jimin was not a man, he was a seventeen year old teenager.

Perhaps the young woman who did win him over would be very lucky to marry someone her own age and not a bitter old man who only had money. Jimin was everything, young, handsome and a millionaire, the best bet of any woman.

His first class was alongside his current teacher, introducing each child in the Park family. They were all very handsome, but Jimin seemed to shine brighter than the stars in the dark night. You wondered if his younger siblings would become jealous of him, it would be an interesting concept considering you had no siblings.

Your hands moved the clay very patiently, your classmates seemed to enjoy these classes and they were undoubtedly fun.

"What a beautiful flower ..." You smiled nodding, no one would ever think that someone like Jimin would be delighted with the common drawing of any girl. Her gaze traveled around your pure and innocent face, as if she couldn't get enough of you. She sat next to you, admiring how your hands continued to play with the dough creating new shapes and I certainly enjoyed every second.

She had never met someone who would attract so much attention from her, you were ethereal. Jimin was immediately drawn to you, your gaze clear as daylight and your soft features, maybe you were just a girl but you seemed to tempt his attention incredibly badly from him. He felt the strange sensation of making sure you were okay, safe, probably in his arms.

He followed you closely, always arriving at the same time. Her mother used to say that Jimin was very irresponsible, she never complied with the basic principles of being a Park: Discipline, order and punctuality. Jimin was different, his siblings may have fulfilled those three bases just to give what they wanted to their parents and receive more affection from him, but not him.

Jimin was obsessive. Impulsive, and he had self-control issues.

The biggest dangerous trait that his parents noticed since he was little, is that he suffered attacks of anger against anyone without caring about the consequences of this. More than three of his babysitters claimed that little Jimin had hit them, slapping and shoving them. But all of this was radically ignored by the Parks, who turned a deaf ear claiming that their son was simply too controlling, and in a way, he was. Jimin liked to have everything under control, at his disposal.

Jimin found himself fascinated with your little eyes looking at him without fear and, even though it was painful for him, without love. For you, he was nothing more than a stranger. He tried to change that, sitting next to you every day and talking to you a few times when he could get more than two sentences out of you. He liked art, I could tell by the way you focus too much on a small painting of an insignificant tree.

If you liked trees, Jimin could buy a forest for yourself.

You loved roses, he could plant thousands in every corner of town.

Or maybe, your obsession with the smell of vanilla. Jimin went wildly for the most expensive vanilla scented lotion, hoping for some praise from you and he really didn't fail.

No, when the next day he sat next to you and your gaze turned to him with a kind smile. "It smells great, Mr. Jimin." Your soft tone and your minimal compliment was enough to make his entire body shake, his hands began to sweat and his voice seemed to falter. It was amazing how you managed to make him so nervous, while he was still a child.

"Y-do you like it?" She asked even knowing the answer, your head bobbing in a quick nod and an even bigger smile adorns your features.

You put your painting aside for a moment to continue responding, Jimin feels elated to see that his plan worked. Now you're just looking at him, as it always should be. "It smells like vanilla, I like vanilla." You say honestly.

"I see, I also like vanilla." You seem shocked, Jimin increases the tension of him fearing that he said something wrong. He really wasn't lying, maybe vanilla wasn't something he used constantly but he didn't dislike it either, he was just disguising and embellishing a crude truth.

And before long, Jimin feels his life take an unexpected turn, people had started to notice his closeness to you. They called him an angel when in reality he was a devil, rumors and silly praise that he would be a good father were not lacking and the young women who came to his door every day to look for a date with him increased in an exorbitant way. You were oblivious to all that, clearly. However, you could not ignore all the looks that fell on you when you accompanied your mother to the market, as from one day to the next you became someone important just because you were the focus of attention of him Mr. Jimin, as you used to call him with respect. Peter also suffered the consequences of this, you had not stopped going to his store and the young women looking to conquer Jimin or at least get his attention began to follow you wanting to win your affection so that you will speak well of them with their desired man, no you were interested in what they could offer you but the biggest problem was that they did not like to receive a clear 'No.' as a reply.

They were insistent and often annoying. They followed you closely, even when you went to school or to visit Peter who now only went twice a week, you did not want to go out and have to face the pity that it gave you to see many beautiful young women begging for a vague love and that I was looking for more money arrangements than anything else. Also, not all of them had good intentions with you. Your mother made sure of your safety in the face of any incident, and with that came her last word, her strict order not to approach Park Jimin again until he found a wife.

The rest would be history.

He would surely forget you and start forming his own family, having his own children and likewise, looking for his own problems. Instead, that never happened. Jimin had discovered your plan, he was angry, he couldn't believe that you were ignoring his attempts to approach you in such a way. Your attitude was so pure but you were hurting her so much.

He was delusional, she knew he was. But he didn't want to stop. So, he did the only thing that would make you stay by his side.

You felt strangely calm, you had been to and from school with no one following closely in your footsteps. Until you noticed that the whole town seemed to look at you with superiority, with caution. Peter never stopped taking care of his store, however, that day it was closed. You gave little thought to that coincidence, walking home with slow steps. Deep down you were scared.

Maybe you thought you could feel it, in front of your house a crowd of people lay watching the most unexpected marriage request. Your mother was uncomfortable, you could tell by how her face was distorted, and how her hands seemed to shake for reasons not yet known to you. You watched in horror as Jimin knelt before her with a smile pulling a ring out of a small red box.

For a moment, you thought about your father. You felt strange, you always wanted to have a warm fatherly hug but it made you uncomfortable to imagine Jimin occupying that place, you did not want him, you did not love him as a daughter to his firstborn or as another similar relationship. He was a stranger.

Your body fell into the seat reserved especially for you, your eyes observed any place in the church trying to disperse your mind. Your little shoes brushed against each other, your hands rested on the wooden seat waiting for the wedding to end as soon as possible. You never wanted to oppose your thoughts to the idea of ​​your mother falling in love or getting married again, you really didn't care much as long as that person was good for her.

However, he was Park Jimin. You felt disgusted when her mother looked at you from afar with despicable eyes, just as anger consumed you when Mrs. Park tried to embarrass your mother in front of everyone. You didn't ask for this, nobody asked for it.

Maybe you spent too much time thinking around you to notice that Jimin was unhappy. A little upset. He had done what he had to do, chained you to him in some twisted way, marrying your mother and he felt happy, at first. I could see you walking through the church, you were wearing a little white dress to match your mother's and for a sinister moment I imagine that you were the one walking towards him to be named his wife. But he quickly came back to reality, you weren't his fiancée. You wouldn't be his wife.

Deep inside him, he knew how gross it was to feel like this.

Your mother's eyes reflected how unhappy she was, her gaze was uncertain. Jimin smiled seeing how you kicked the decorations that fell to the ground, you were completely oblivious to everything and more to the look of her that she followed you closely. Many called him a good father. Seeing nothing but his protective attitudes, but under the circumstances there were only hints of what might come next. You weren't allowed to leave Jimin's house, his father had left the mansion where his whole family used to live.

Mrs. Park could find no better excuse to leave than the sudden tantrum of her first-born son for marrying an older woman, a widow, and a daughter. This is a mockery and disgrace to her family's last name. Jimin just let her go, he wasn't even there the day her mother boarded the first train to her grandmother's house.

Your mother flatly refused to leave her house at first, she did not want to leave the little cabin that your father had built with his own effort so that both of them would live there and in the future raise their children, you always lived there and you did not want to leave either. But you never had a solid vote, your mother ended up agreeing from one day to the next, you did not know how Jimin managed to change his word so suddenly. Maybe there was never one reason, but you became all of them.

You were painfully present at all times. You observed how little by little, the wispy and wise glow that your mother possessed was getting lost between her empty eyes and her bent body, her head was never raised as she taught you it should be. She was a stranger, you felt scared in her presence. You remembered very well how her face seemed to light up when she saw you coming home from school and how she taught you something new every day.

"Mommy..." You spoke, your hands were still busy with the picture that you hadn't finished painting. But curiosity began to attack your mind.

Your mother came out of the kitchen with a little gray apron, she smiled when she saw you sitting on the floor. "Yes, honey?"

"Why do people get married?" Your gaze lifted from the sheet of paper, wincing at her glowing eyes.

"It depends, it's not necessarily for love. Maybe for money, comfort or ..." her voice trailed off, she still staring at you she leaned down to take your face in her hands. "Because they found someone, as cute as you!"

"Mommy ... I want to marry you!" Your mother began to laugh, your gaze traveled all over her face, joyful of hers and for a moment, you swore that you would hate anyone who dared to take away the great happiness of a genuine smile.

You finished your drawing, just in time because the front door echoed through the entire cabin. Your father appeared with a small drawer in his hands, your mother seemed to be illuminated with an angel when she saw him enter with a kind smile. Both were such for which. They were, more than lovers and husbands, lifelong best friends. Your life seemed to have something that many do not get even after death.

An outer and inner peace. It was perfect.

Almost so perfect, it wasn't true. White roses were always your favorites. However, you began to detest its soft light petals when it seemed that all the townspeople bought the same bouquet of white roses for the funeral of your, now, deceased mother. You took a seat next to her grave, ignoring everyone's greetings and goodbyes, who apparently forgot how her criticism of her increased even as the days, months and years of her wedding with Jimin passed.

You couldn't blame anyone. Or you just didn't want to.

Because the rope around his neck was not placed by them. And the multiple scars on his wrists weren't his marks. A small part of you felt helpless, angry and respectively, disgusted with yourself. Could you help her? Yes. No. Maybe if you had ... And he had stayed in the past.

The little white rose in your hand fell to the floor, everyone had left the room to go to the large buffet served at the reception. You froze, then with the same rage you began to step on the already dead flower at your feet, the petals of it were no more than a pure color, now they were disgusting and dirty. Jimin appeared minutes later, your gaze fell on his hand that was holding a black and a red rose.

"We should go, honey." He whispered as if afraid to scare you even though you were already looking directly at him. Your immobile figure instinctively ran into his arms, which greeted you with an incredibly loving warmth. The roses were placed on top of the coffin, a smile spread across your face when you saw the color red stand out against so much white, and for a second you came to compare the beauty of an outstanding color with your mother.

She stood out in a world where everyone wanted to paint themselves pure white.

Jimin was even more welcoming to you now. He pretended to sleep waiting for 11:30 to arrive so that he could hear your footsteps on the way to his room, you had developed a great amount of fear of loneliness. Jimin knew you always did that, but before it was with her instead of him. You would walk for several seconds looking in the dark for his room, which was next to hers, then I would always hear her voice singing for you, making you rest in his arms. For a long time, I want to be her. But now he was gone and I knew it was a matter of time before your steps stopped at his door.

She loved the closeness of your body to hers, how your hands clung to her nightshirt when you were cold or a horrible nightmare was projected into your dreams. Jimin horribly wishes he could see beyond your dreams, although that would be disrespectful to your privacy, he wouldn't mind breaking your trust too much if he could be sure that you would never walk away from him, even in your dreams.

He managed to chain your life to his, your scared look was the most beautiful thing I have seen before. I want to touch your little face and kiss your soft lips that tempted him every time the word "dad" came out of it.

Time was his greatest enemy.

Your presentation was no better, your hands were trembling again while your feet moved from here to there restlessly. Jimin just watched silently, but the distance between you and him was gigantic, he just wished that the damn bitch that was presented before him would shut up and leave his house. It was remarkable how you seemed angry, maybe it's jealousy, she has feelings for me. He thought sickly, a smile spreading across his face discreetly at his incoherent thoughts of him. The young woman sitting on the sofa in front of him smiled thinking that her talk had caused some pleasure in the young and widowed man.

Jimin admired her face, she was very cute, also she seemed to have good manipulation technique in people. She noticed it quickly when she walked through the door, her smile that seemed uncontrollable and genuine lit up his childlike face. He took a few seconds, he knew he shouldn't do it but he couldn't help comparing the woman to you. You were shorter, you were obviously younger and your gaze was more pure. Jimin was proud of your firm stance, knowing that in the two years since your mother's death you had developed a closer connection with him, and likewise, you were a beautifully perfect copy of him. Your hard gaze and your legs crossed with each other showed your firmness, and your silent opinion.

You wanted the fucking bitch sitting across from your stepdad outside your house.

You laughed at the very idea of ​​one day finding a really good replacement for your mother. You couldn't replace a rose with bad herbs. For you, as selfish as he was, Jimin was your father, and he was your mother's love from the day he married her. No one would replace his position.

It was all three of them, and a part of your mind conned that Jimin still wasn't over the love he had for her. Or he would have remarried long ago, when the young women stood in front of the door of his house asking for a date with him. In those moments you didn't care, Jimin was a stranger, but now he was your father and you were his only daughter. No one had the right to ruin their harmonious relationship, they were both alone and someday serious like him.

You will be successful, you will make a lot of money and you will be able to marry someone you love.

But for now, your gaze fell on the little worn and dirty shoes of the woman in front of you. A smile crossed your face, your gaze lifted surprising the woman. While Jimin waited with his arms crossed for your following action.

"Woman." Your voice seemed to cut her tranquility, her face lost total color of life and a small grimace of fear passed over her fragile face. "I can't allow shoes like that to step on the carpet in my house ..."

The woman looked at Jimin who seemed indifferent, distracted by the painting on the wall.

"I'm sorry miss" she whispered trying to remove her shoes, his hands seemed more clumsy than usual. Her face burned when your hand moved closer to hers to prevent any further movement.

"Go away." A tiny part of you felt sorry for his embarrassed face and flushed cheeks. But it quickly came to your mind that she thought she was good enough to believe she was your mother. When she couldn't even challenge a stupid girl who acted like a spoiled brat. "Get out of my house, or I'll have to ask you not to just take off your shoes."

"I-sorry, I'll go now-..." A sob interrupted her dialogue, her hands searched for the notebook she was carrying but she gave up making a quick bow to Jimin and running outside.

The garden was your favorite part of the big house, the walls constantly made you believe that you were going to be eaten by them. Every day you came out of your lair admiring the many roses of many different colors growing beautiful and healthy. Your school stage was about to begin and you did not want to neglect your garden, which was also a tribute to your late mother.

So you hired a gardener. You were seventeen years old and soon to be eighteen. To say that you managed to experience the best of all those years was ridiculous, and deep down inside you, you thought that all of that was possible because of all the things Jimin did for you.

You had a debt, which you planned to pay in the future. You thought about leaving and letting him have a quiet life from now on without having to run to solve your problems, even if you never asked him to.

Jimin had eyes watching your every move, he clearly remembers how he put security cameras throughout the house, observing how you slept, what you did in the comfort of your room and privacy. Even when you walked into the shower and your hands ran over your body covered in water. Sometimes he felt guilty, for how he seemed to enjoy those moments that seemed so short.

However, it was repeated that as long as you were safe.

Breaking your trust wasn't that important.

Your eighteenth birthday was moderately quiet, Jimin was not used to throwing parties, and honestly, you never asked for one. So you just stood at the door of your house receiving expensive and cheap gifts from people who when they gave you the gift had a forced smile that told you many things. Most were familiar faces, of women who had previously sought a date with your father, obviously being rejected.

The little birthday cake looked so monotonous, the candles were the only thing you could stand out for. You were never aware that you had started to be privileged and extremely ambitious since Jimin proposed to your mother and forced her to marry him, pointing a gun at her pathetic silly little head. You had it all, and in your previous years maybe you managed to get excited about the new toys and accessories that were brought to you from other countries, you had everything that others did not, and a strange epiphany collapsed over you.

It was you, it was déjà vu. You were them, and those who were before, were now you.

You had all of them, and they didn't. Now, by your side, they were all poor. Jimin showered you with gifts, causing you to gradually lose interest in money. You remember your thoughts when it all started and likewise, you still remember the woman with the dirty shoes. You will be successful, you will make a lot of money. It was what you thought in the future for yourself, but now that was it, in a nutshell. Completely boring. You stayed for a moment thinking about them under the watchful eye of your stepfather who tried not to smile when you saw you, you were an adult now and he could finally take you as his own. They would be husband and wife, as it should have been from the beginning of its history.

And you will be able to marry someone you love. You still had only one option left, you blew out the candles with a single sigh causing Jimin to clap his hands and approach you to hug you fondly. The maids behind you only blushed when his boss started showing all of his affection. They weren't used to seeing him so often, Jimin had a firm and tough stance with everyone but he seemed to become as soft as clay in your presence. You came to mold Jimin in your favor, making him a cold person in front of his own demons and then, you left yours.

"I want marriage proposals, father." A gasp came from the mouths of the maids who just immediately fell silent. Lowering their head as they were taught. "I am ready to get married."

Jimin hummed still keeping his arms around you, your body was trapped in theirs. Your skin burned when his fingers squeezed your skin, leaving permanent marks. There was no reaction from you, you were used to this kind of unexpected treatment and it just didn't hurt.

"Get married?" His arms pulled away from you in disgust, there was no other reaction either. Jimin taught you not to object unless you knew you should. Stay calm and you will win. "And can you tell who would want to marry you? Useless little girl."

"Useless?" Your low voice seemed to make him happy for a moment.

Quickly his hands took the utensils to cut the cake, with a soft and sweet voice he continued: "Honey, men do not look for a girl with a lot of money like you. They look for someone to tame, and you, you could easily crush everyone with a wave of your hands."

A piece of the cake perfectly positioned on the plate was placed in front of you, a sob escaping your lips. You were really pathetic, eh? You clearly wanted to live something that has been claimed many times. You weren't going to get married, not without having it all like Jimin said. Then, you would lose everything and go back up to crush the others with greater pleasure.

"Aren't you going to eat? It's your cum-..."

"I will go to a neighboring town, I will finish my studies there."

Jimin looked down at his plate, ignoring how you got up from the table and put your cake aside. Then, your sweet voice finished destroying his self control that he thought he mastered long ago.

"I never liked that cake taste."

And it was the end.

You went back to the start again. You were planning to leave tonight, your bags were ready. Everything you needed was never in that house, it was never him. They were those that never existed in your present continued.

Your shoes did not seem to contrast with the dirt on the town's floor, you were also aware that those would end up in the trash. You didn't care, they were just shoes Jimin bought for your birthday, insignificant.

People were observant, and often foul-mouthed. It was no different than they spoke far from you or close to you, yet their mouths moved in a fussy way exaggerating reactions and creating new lies.

"_____...?" Your posture was decreasing, you no longer had to pretend. A smile covered your face, framing many emotions in one. "Come in please, it's your house."

Peter stepped aside, leaving room for you to enter. Your hands trembled but this time from cold, you still did not get over the harsh winter that suddenly passed. You took your shoes off quickly, briefly forgetting that this was no longer your home. You had sold the little cabin at a minimal price, and you were even happier when it was Peter who chose that place as his future home to live with his wife and his future child. Now he had two more. The little children ran in the tiny room playing with each other, a feeling of nostalgia invaded you when you saw them. You used to do the same before, together with your parents.

Those moments.

"Glad to see you around here, daughter." Peter hadn't changed, he was still the same kind and understanding person as ever. The opposite of you, of course. "Do you want to have tea? I heard on the streets that you would go to study far from here."

"Coffee, please." You responded still reluctant to talk about your departure.

Peter just laughed at your exaggerated denial, nodding and leading into the kitchen. You took a seat at the small table looking around. "You didn't change the decoration."

"Uh? ...." He seemed surprised by your observation, but he quickly smiled. "No. Actually, I think I liked it from the beginning how your ... er ... your mother decorated it. Besides, my wife loved it too. For her, it's beautiful as spring."

"Spring?" You ask, avoiding looking at it. You look down looking for some reason not to feel sad, in a way, you had compared your mother to spring as well. However, Jimin said that you were his. You never liked being called a light, because you always tried to be in your mother's shadow. And you liked it. "She believed that she is very wise, my mother was like spring."

"Thanks." A voice whispered from behind, your gaze fell on her and her face very much like your mother's. But they were obviously completely different. "I never doubted that you were just as wise. Spring represents the new beginning, a new beginning. Did you manage to find yours?"

Peter tried to intervene, clearly noticing the way his wife was trying to make you talk about your life after your mother died.

"I did. That's why I'm leaving here tonight."

"I'm glad we all need to be born again at some point."

You affirm with a small movement of the head, concentrating your gaze on the coffee cup in your hands. The smoke fell directly on your face hiding your grimace of disgust. Nobody deserves to talk about her like that yet.

"Ok, honey." Peter began by sitting across from you, with a cup of green tea and a serene expression. "Are you planning to go alone or with someone? I heard that travel today is very dangerous."

"Actually, I am accompanied by an acquaintance. His name is Jungkook, he also planned to leave and started working for me as a gardener to get the necessary money. We became good friends." You spoke remembering the adorable smile of the young man, he used to accompany you everywhere you went as if his job was to protect you. At first it was cute, but then it was annoying. Even after all that, you preferred to travel with him rather than alone.

"Oh that's very nice. I'm glad you managed to meet your goals. Good luck."

Your goals?

"Thanks, Peter."

His gaze lingered on your face for a moment, then he seemed to remember something very important. She gave you a smile before getting up to leave the kitchen.

"I have something for you, you are old enough to know this."

It was an envelope. Common and ordinary, but its envelope was beginning to deteriorate, showing that it was an old and very reserved letter.

You questioned your decision but took it, not wanting to read it in front of anyone even more when you read who wrote the letter.

You sat on the small wall, the trees and the cool breeze boosted your adrenaline. Small pieces of paper fell to the ground. So, you weren't thinking correctly at those times.

"I only married a man that I loved in all my life, I was happy. I had a daughter. I lived years of solitude and then, I was chained to an empty love."

"I know what you're reading this now. You're weak, darling. Maybe that's what made us mother and daughter. Because from the beginning I never had the courage to tell you that Jimin put a ring on my finger and a gun to my head. Or maybe, I was weak when I didn't get in the way of his errand, I should have told him that I hated him and that he could put a bullet in my head before giving it to my daughter. And maybe, I should have told everyone who passed by me that He was the same one who murdered my husband, he never left. I made you believe that. You never asked. "

"I saw you so happy today, you were running between the garden and the wedding. I could see his gaze following your hurried steps, I was almost completely sure that he was trying to get closer to you at all times. I told the woman next to me, But she shut me up saying that I can't be jealous of a father and daughter relationship. You weren't her daughter. She also ordered me to let them create a closer relationship, because I already had Park Jimin's heart in my hands. Liars."

"I always loved your curious voice. You used to ask me everything, and why everything was like that. But lately, I don't know what to answer. Why am I crying? Why is there a dark stain under my eyes? Why is there blood in the bathroom? Why did I never ask for help? I see you worry and you don't let me give you affection, because you prefer to give it to me. I also see how I start to bother him, I am a hindrance. Now I understand, I knew it but I never wanted to accept that it happened. He was everywhere, and likewise, I was never part of the plan."

"There were only two things I didn't tell you. I love you and my last piece of advice. Honey, lock it up and fly to the start, whenever you feel lost. A fresh start and never forget spring."

You stifled a sob. Covering up your pain. You had not noticed that the night had covered the sky, a dark blue blanket arrived. It took you a long time to assimilate that all the fragments were torn papers, and it was not a letter. It was an envelope filled with, apparently, incomplete sheets torn from a notebook. There was a fragment that was not part of the leaves, but rather was written later.

"Lost parts of a sad widow's diary.

Peter."

They were from your mother's diary. So where was the rest? What actually happened? A message came to your phone, you read it quickly still drying your tears.

JUNGKOOK:

Our trip is in an hour, I hope you said goodbye to everyone.

Received at 7:05 p.m.

I still do not:(

Received at 7:06 p.m.

Along with both messages was an attached picture, a photo of him and his grandmother. Jungkook talked a lot about her, and hers, her brothers. You smile, still wiping the tears from your face.

Your feet moved, the leaves in your hands seemed too heavy. And yet it was something you needed to do.

"Are you at home." His monotonous voice invaded you, he was busy reading a book that rested in his hand. The maid came over leaving a cup of coffee beside him, greeting your presence politely. "I have some things to discuss with you, darling."

"Me too, Jimin." It was the first time you had said his name without due respect, he seemed surprised for a moment. But his expression changed to one of happiness, as if he had been waiting for it. "I couldn't say goodbye, I'm leaving today. I think you already know that, though."

"Actually, no. But it's nice to hear it from you."

"I ..." Your voice dried in your throat, a giant doubt fell over you. You didn't want to leave without telling him how much you hated everything about him. His attention, his affection, his smile, his gaze, his voice. Everything about him was disgustingly charming. "I think I'll go get my bags."

Jimin nodded, ignoring your presence. Still distracted with reading him.

"Before you go, can you give me that back, darling?" Your gaze followed where he pointed his finger. Your hand. The leaves were still there.

"It's something of mine-..."

"Oh I don't think so. It really is very easy to threaten someone, just suffice to say that you can put a bullet in their head to make them your obedient little puppets."

"I do not understand your..."

"Me? It was obviously me. I'm surprised you thought your mother would be smart enough to leave a confession letter to her ex-lovers, days before her death. You really had a lot of credit for her." His chatter was accompanied by a laugh. You were paralyzed, shaking in your useless state of shock. "But I will not say that I did not plan, I hoped that you would never have the courage to try to leave my side. And even if that were the case, I knew that you would say goodbye to the only person who reminded you of her. Peter, she has a family. lovely."

Nor did he expect you to have the courage to cheat on him with another man. Oh, the gardener. Poor Jungkook, his body now rested leaving behind your favorite flowers. Jimin bit his lip, another mocking smile peeking out with intensity remembering the cutthroat figure of the innocent but guilty young man.

You were his...

"How can you be so cruel?" The doubt in you seemed to want to keep growing, passing second by second through your head. You weren't sure you could understand that everything that happened in front of you was actually planned by the same person who swore never to leave you alone. The same man who disguised himself as a sheep so he could eat you like a wolf. "Did you kill my mother ?!" Jimin seemed surprised by your desperate tone, he did not expect to be able to unbalance your state so easily.

It was lovely. Certainly.

"No sweetie." He murmured closing the book in his hands, setting it on the table next to the steaming cup of American coffee. "But it would have been exquisite to be the reason for his pain. Unfortunately, it was your father who won that title."

"Where did you get this from? I know she wrote it, and I also know that she would never give it to you knowing what a monster you are." Tears were running down your cheeks like water, you knew you were a mess but Jimin seemed to look at you like you were a perfect work of art.

"I found it." He spoke casually, getting up from his seat. Walking slowly towards your trembling figure. "It was a coincidence, I like casual things. It was a coincidence that you studied at that school, that your mother was a widow, that your father died. That he will make me fall in love with you."

What is your goal now?

"I love you darling."

Escape from the monster.

[hanibalistic]

#507A9E | HWANG HYUNJIN.

genre | fluff, high school au, faint mutual pining, implied rich kid au

word count | 2190

warning | fighting, mentions of injuries

tag | @fluffyskzclub​

note | i miss hyunjin pt.2 // maybe a universe?

the first thing that popped into your head when you saw students running toward the school courtyard, whispering and chanting about a fight that had broken out, was that the person better not be hyunjin.

you knew hyunjin ever since middle school but you two only recently introduced yourselves to each other when your homeroom teacher made it your responsibility, as the class president, to keep track of him—both his poor grades and his even poorer conduct.

you two never had to chance to speak to each other before the beginning of your tutoring sessions. surely, even if you had the chance to talk to him, you would not have taken it with his rebellious reputation contrasting so stronger your clean-slate one. most of your encounters were of you frowning and sneering at him whenever you saw him get taken away to the principal's office, or when he and his friends create a ruckus during school assemblies.

your poor impression of him stayed long even after you began tutoring him in the corner of the school library, afraid that you would be seen together. he was always late, sometimes with a hazy attitude and sometimes with bruises and cuts on his face. he was always late to the sessions, but he was also always present.

on his third failed calculus test hyunjin came around.

you never knew why but he suddenly did a 360-degree turn and he came around. he started to pay attention in class and he paid attention to you, he did his homework and the additional questions you assigned him, he jotted down notes and read them during his free time. with the third failed test, he decided he would work hard for some reason.

he was still late to the tutoring sessions, though.

but! with his newfound motivation, you, too, came around and began seeing him in a much friendlier light. you greeted him in the halls, you talked to him outside of the library and about topics other than academics (like his adorable puppy kkami, who you adore more than hyunjin, not that adore the boy or anything), you two moved from the corner to the main study center of the library, and you learned to treat his wounds whenever he has them.

hyunjin became a good friend of yours, and he only listened to you, which you realized after a friend mentioned it to you. you thought it was preposterous, but the thought of it made your stomach flutter with faint romantic delight anyway, the knot in your throat refusing to admit out loud that you might just find him the smallest bit attractive.

like when he would smile confidently at his practice test as he hands it to you, only for it to turn into a cute frown when he watches you add cross after cross on his answers. or when he would arch one brow at you in acknowledgment, a boyish smirk playing on his lips, after you accidentally catch his eyes in the classroom during a long lecture. or when his solid, pressuring gaze lays itself on you as you tend to his wounds outside in the school garden, his eyes holding the gentlest of affection as he looks to you as the only person to have ever existed on this earth.

no, you are not attracted to him. not at all.

"excuse me–i'm sorry, excuse me!" you said as you pushed yourself through the overly excited crowd.

once you made your way to the front, your jaw clenched and your brows furrowed. there hyunjin was, hands clutching a poor student's wrinkled collar, and the scar under his eye reopened. it was him who got in a fight! you did not know why you hoped for an alternative.

there was a glint in hyunjin's eyes—something akin to happiness, a thrilling excitement, perhaps, like the freeing of his soul being trashed into the depths of his easy insults and clenched fists. there was no anger in him, not an ounce. you knew what his anger looked like when it was directed to another, and this was not it.

this was free will. he was fighting because his body could and he yearned for the temporary excitement of it.

you felt your heart sink a little. out of everything that could make his face light up like this, fighting people has to take the crown? you wanted hyunjin to be happy but not with such a method! you also don't want to completely strip the entertainment away from him either!

if you wanted him to stop, the best way would be to find something else that can make him feel as excited as he does now, but what could it be?

"hwang hyunjin!" you hollered when you saw him throw a punch at the other student, your thoughts vanishing immediately.

stomping forward, you grabbed onto the back of his shirt and yanked him behind you. you pushed the other student away, glaring at him to run away before you turned to hyunjin. you tilted your head then, looking at him carefully, then you walked toward him.

"oh, come on, [name]," he whined, preparing to move around you. "don't ruin the fun!"

"hyunjin–hyunjin, look at me," you said, putting your hands on his shoulders and stopping him from side-stepping you. when he focused on you, his eyes turning soft, you smiled. "stop."

he stayed silent for a second before he sneered. he tried to shove you aside. "move away–"

"hyunjin," you sighed, feeling the longing for movement in his body. "do you understand you did something bad."

"if you are trying to talk me out of fighting–"

"you understand," you interrupted him, "that you did something bad."

you could hear voices in the background criticizing you. you were unsure of what, exactly. it was either of you stopping the fight or of you assuming you could stop the fight by talking. you ignored the background noises and focused on hyunjin, looking at him expectantly. you just needed him to tell you he understands.

"jesus, yes! now move away–"

"great. then i'm so sorry about this."

hyunjin was about to side-step you again, adding force into his hands as he pushed you aside to search for the kid who ran off, but you removed your grip on him and took a step back to get into position. his confusion worked in your favor when you anchored your weight on your feet, and with a strong swing, you punched him square in the face, knocking him down.

you grimaced at the pain that reverberates through your knuckles, while hyunjin laid on the floor with his face covered by his hands.

"what the fuck!" he yelled into his hands, his head pressed against the grass field with a pained look.

you scoffed at him as you rubbed your hands together. you felt worried for a second, but then it cooled down when you came to terms that he has got to have experienced worse. it was not the impact of the punch that made him dramatize his reaction (although, surely it did hurt his pretty face) but the unpredictableness of the punch that did so.

he would be fine. he always was.

you looked around you, glaring at everyone who came looking for a show, and you waited for them to disperse before you return your attention to hyunjin.

"come on, let's go to the nurse's office," you said as you moved closer to him, knelt, and took his hands from his face.

not a single stain of your punch. it was all just the invisible pain and his tendency to exaggerate.

"you look fine."

"i'm not fine!" he retorted with a whiny shout, snatching his hands away from yours and sitting up. he placed his hand on one propped-up knee and turned to you, annoyed. "you punched me!"

"talking clearly wasn't doing the job, so i did what i had to do!"

"punching me is what you had to do? not call a teacher or something?" he exclaimed incredulously, eyes widening at you in disbelief.

you closed your mouth. you had not wanted to get him in trouble so you resulted in dealing with it on your own. he has a week-long clean streak of not messing with the teacher, you wanted to keep it that way. even though you failed to consider if anybody present would snitch on him, or you, or maybe even the both of you.

"yes...?" you squeaked as you ducked your head, then you slightly eyed up, grimacing at him apologetically. "i didn't want to get you in trouble."

hyunjin watched you through the silk of his long black hair. he took in your words; the way you said it so bashfully, and how you shrunk under the thought of you making a mistake on his behalf. he understood that it was ultimately your good intentions looking out for his own good. your contrasting naivety shone into his eyes, and he wanted to cradle your face in his hands and be gentle with you.

heaving a sigh, he leaned on his hand that supported his torso up. licking his lower lip, he shared a knowing look with you and asked, "you know how to throw a punch."

you scowled lightly then, playing with your fingers as you sat on the grass field. "yeah, my mom had me learn how to fight ever since i was young."

"that makes sense. self-defense is good."

"yeah," you breathed out a laugh, "a little more than that."

"hmm?"

"my mother has a very odd job."

hyunjin smiled questioningly but he didn't ask. he merely took a look behind you at the grand structure of the school he stumbled upon after his parent's death and he nodded in acceptance.

he was never supposed to enter an elite school like this, where every student seems to have some dark family secrets down their sleeves. dark secrets not as in family feuds and estrangements (although those were certainly present as well) but dark secrets as in blood money and corrupt authorities.

rich people problems, but make it guns and roses.

he would not be surprised if your family had some weird history hidden in the closet. what he was wondering about was how you got stuck in a normal middle school with him.

"is your nose okay?" you asked timidly, facing forward at him.

your expression made him recall the time he found you wiping tears from your eyes at the library, glaring at his failed calculus test as if it had been your own, and he realized that you did care and you weren’t doing this because you were asked to.

it made him remember how most things he has done—studying, paying attention, staring at you, not getting into trouble—have been for you.

he just could not control his habits sometimes and he hoped you wouldn’t get too upset with him today for missing the tutoring session.

hyunjin hummed. it was fine, the pain subsided long ago, but he would be damned to not take your concern to an advantage. pouting quickly, he twisted his torso and let himself fall on your lap. he could feel you panic above him and he giggled lowly to himself, his eyes closed.

"i feel dizzy, you might have given me a concussion," he said.

you gasped a little, then you denied, "no way, that can't be possible."

"don't invalidate my concussion," hyunjin said. "it is what i feel."

you sucked in a breath.

there is no point treading through that territory with him, there is no point treading through that territory with anyone.

sensing your silence, hyunjin dared to open one eye to peek up at you. you were staring down at him, eyes ablaze with curiosity as you waited for him to speak.

the sunlight fell like gold sand and split when it reached your head, casting sparks over you. almost a spitting image of an angel, if he knew what an angel looked like. 

your innocence was as gentle as his mother once was, and your determination a faint recall of his father's brightness. but your face was entirely your own; your eyes, nose, cheeks, lips. a kind face, a calm face, a face of someone he has come to fall catastrophically in love with.

hyunjin felt his eyes waver, he felt the warm watery dust his in eyes waver like flashes of lights seeping through gaps of leaves on a tree. his fingers itched to reach up to your face, to cradle you, to be kind to you, but he pressed them to his sides and only allowed himself a smile at your direction.

"i'm going to rest my face," he said.

you frowned, but the guilt of punching him asked you to stay with him, so you nodded. "okay."

hyunjin relaxed on the ground. his eyes were closed, but if they weren't, you would have seen—the thrill in his eyes of being able to be with you, the excitement of being close to you.

it would not be something akin to happiness, it would be happiness.